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avilla's Journal
 

2 MORE DAYS

Two more days to go...I just cant wait...There is just no telling what the future will hold for me after Thursday...I am seriously hoping that the lapband helps me and that I am not one of the statistics (that really worries me alot)!! I was one of the lucky ones with good insurance that approved me right off the bat for the surgery...It was very depressing at the seminar having everyone find out that they would have to diet for 1-2 years and maybe longer and be monitored by their doctors office before approval..I could feel the disappointment spread thru the room...Most people came in with the mindset that it was basically their choice if they had the surgery or not and not that they would have to go thru a rough road with the insurance company...It was very sad...I believe that only me and 2 other people in the room at the time ended up having UHC and were told that we only had to have a bmi of 40 or over to be automatically approved...I was very excited for me, but I could feel all of the depression around me like air being let out of a balloon or something...Yes, I am a lucky one but that doesnt mean that its going to work for me...There is going to be alot of work ahead of me for the next year or two (hopefully not the later)...My heart just sank watching all the expressions on the other people there tho.. I dont know why I had the seminar on the mind all of a sudden, it wasnt there when i started writing a few minutes ago!! Well, this is a chance for a new and healthy life and I am going to give it my best and hopefully will come out a winner and be on the "lost more than 100 lbs" with some of the others before long...
avilla

avilla

2
Teresita's Journal
 

June 20

I feel good about going to TTC last night. I feel like I got in a good exercise. With all that sweating, it better have been a good exercise.   I am excited and nervous about weigh in tonight. I need this weigh in so bad to get that motivation. I have a burger for breakfast, soup for the rest of the work day and my daughter made me a pbj so I may share that with my co worker. We're crazy.   I don't know why I wait until the morning to really think about what I am going to wear especially knowing I usually have to iron stuff. I kinda forgot I needed to wash my hair this morning because it was totally wet from sweating. I washed my hair and grabbe no iron clothing. I think I'm kinda cute today becuase it is a black cami with a sheer black blouse with flowers and a little beading.   I need to throw the rest of this burger away because it is sitting in my chest, as if I didn't know.   What am I going to do to keep from eating EVERYTHING when I get off. Weigh in does not begin until 6:15. You know when I get home I lose my mind on Tuesday's. POPSICLES that will be the answer. I will walk while OPRAH is on and then have 2 pops.
Teresita

Teresita

1
kellway's Journal
 

6th of May 06 band day

The kids and I flew to Perth 2 days earlier than op date lucky for us my partners parents live there. Hired a car at the airport and drove to there house. All warm and fuzzy the kids havent seen grandma for 3 years so they were really excited. Not nervous at this stage as 2 days to go. Mark father in law has been banded to and had excellent results but it has taken me 3 years to make this decission. Father in law has had his band loosened and can eat what ever he likes and has decided to tease me constantly. Last meal Chinese. Father in law drives me to the hospital 2 hrs away.Drops me at the door and says good luck and ring when I want to be picked up. Check in Great room on my own. Operation booked in at 10am still waiting at 3pm and getting nervous. Doc finally comes around and says Kell you still have time to walk out of here if you want and are you ready for torcher for the next 40 years of your life. I told him im here and im not leaving just yet. Finally they come to weel the bed down to surgery. In the waiting room out side the doctor again says I still have about 5 minutes to run if I want. Again I say no way. Bed now in operation room and the anethist said that he has been on holiday where I live and stayed at the hotel that I work at and all I can think is I hope he had a nice holiday. Waking up was not the best experience, only panadol given for the pain. In hospital over night and they delivered a room service menu? How funny. Let free next day and father in law picked me up. Dropped me of at home and went to the casino. Some times It would be nice to have your mum live near by. Home back at the rock 5 days later and back at work with in the week. Still tender but feel ok. 2 Weeks of work and I am off to the Gold Coast to get married.:clap2:
kellway

kellway

1
Love, Family, Weight, Hip Hop & Vegetarianism
 

Love, Drugs, Crime and Salvation - I'm proud of where I am now

today i decided to actually write down what i have been through and how i've overcomed so i can see that i really, really have overcome some hard times and being overweight and getting healthy is my next hurdle to overcome.   I started supporting myself and working at 14, I was fiercly independent. Had a loving family, however, they were very strict religiously and me being the oldest of 3 girl, I was often severly punished, borderline abusive. I decided to get my own apartment with a friend of mine, had already bought my 1st car and ran away from home at 16 (actually, just left a note saying I wasn't coming back and told them where to find me if they needed me and they chose to let me stay on my own).   Was very, very wild, did everything I never was allowed to do at home. Drank, slept around, experimented with drugs....Met my 1st husband at 17, married him about a year later when I was 4 mo's pregnant. Had my darling baby boy at 18 and vowed to show him so much love he wouldn't know what to do with it.   Unfortunately, my husband started to abuse alcohol and crack cocaine and once I figured this out, it was too late. When he was high he would hit me, throw things at me, strangle me, do so many humiliating things that after trying to leave him for years I finally succeeded. Stayed in battered womens shelter with baby till i could find place of my own.   Husband continued to stalk me and anyone I dated he would beat up or intimidate them. Starting coming to my job threatening to kill me and to kill my co-workers and company got police involved and he began to chill out. Then he started again, calling me telling me he new where I lived and was going to shoot up my house or bomb it. Finally, he went to jail.   I moved home for a while, but my religious parents kicked me out of the house because I would go hang out with friends or go to the club and drink with my friends. Once they kicked me out (they kept my child, which I didn't fight at the time, because I was so tired and trampled I just wanted to worry about me for a while - which was horrible, selfish and completely unfair to my baby but I was 21 and stupid).   My life became all about drinking and going clubbing all the time, left child a lot with parents. Started to get my shit together at 22 then went to prison for a year because of drug smuggling for the Jamaican mafia (don't ask!?!) an airplane with a 100 lbs of weed (stooopid choice). I had had a job and everything but my partying and care of my son was cutting into my budget and I insanely thought I could get away with doing this outrageous act! Prison was so difficult as I was in a city where I knew no one and I DESPERATELY missed my child and was so ashamed of what I had done. I had never even had a ticket and it was such a crazy time in my life.   I got out of prison and got my child back, got on welfare, got section 8 housing. Soon I found a a job paying $7 hr it was very difficult because I tried to be honest at first on applications asking if I had ever been convicted of a felony. Then, I got a better job paying about $15 hr. I was able to get off welfare and get my own apartment no longer on public housing at 25.   Then life came crashing down around me again. The company I was working for got shut down and I stupidly started selling crack (another great decision) then I started doing it myself! How could I do this after seeing my ex-husband and so many friends become so sad and drug addicted and lose any semblance of the person they were before? Why on earth would I do that to my child after having already went to jail and stay away from him for a year? Why would I take a risk like that? I have so, so much guilt and anguish over this and to this day I apologize to my son on the regular. My only guess is that I had not yet been diagnoed with being bi-polar and I was making crazy, crazy decisions with horrible repercussions. So, eventually I was addicted and spent a year doing crack, trying to hide it from my friends and family. It was the worst year of my life. I woke up one day and prayed to God for help, I just knew I couldn't do this to my son or myself.   I quit cold turkey, and at 26 moved to new city with my child where my best friend was. She helped me greatly I love her and we are friends to this day (since high school!)   Eventually, I met a man that was a few years younger then me and got into relationship with him that was full of ups and downs, hot and cold and I was so in love with him. I had dreams of marrying him one day, unfortunately, he did not love me as much as he loved his burgeoning rap career and his record label and his groupies (imagine that!) this relationship ended abruptly after a few years, worst heart break of my life, some of the worst pain I had ever felt and ate until I got fat.   I then worked my up from a customer service position to doing sales for this .dotcom company. Eventually, I was making $50,000 a year - I thought this was sooo much money, and for me, it really was. I was finally able to really take care of me and my son the way I always wanted to.   Fast forward to 29, met love of my life, he proposed after 3 mo's and got married 3 mo's later (now getting even fatter). At 31 I decided I wanted more of a challenge and felt I could make even more money and there was really no where to grow at my job. I applied, interviewed and was hired at another .dotcom and this has been my employer for the last 3 years. I now make around $120,000 + a year. ME, I did it, I actually made a success out of my life after all of that.   I also bought my first house at 33... all this and never graduated from high school and never went to college, grew up in a poor burt loving family - beans and rice and top a ramen were normal meals.   I was also sexually molested, me and my sisters were by a family friend for years when were were young, but that is another story. I was raped several times in teens and early twenties, yet, i still moved forward.   Now 34, married almost 4 years (still in love), son is 15, raised a great, smart, loving, moral MAN and raising a lovely young 16 yr old step-daughter whom i adore. i'm loyal to my friends, and my husband. i'm smart, funny and will be pretty again once i lose 60 l bs. I CAN DO THIS! Oh, yeah and now I quit smoking which I have been trying to do since I was 17!   Sometimes you actually have to write down and look at things in your life to learn from them, let go of them and forgive yourself.   I'm so glad all of this is ANONYMOUS!
BeacheeGirl

BeacheeGirl

3
lins12's Journal
 

JUNE 19

185 (:scared: )   BREAKFAST: 220C Protein Shake 70C Cottage Cheese 300C TOTAL   SNACK: Soup   LUNCH: 210C SmartOne w/ butter   SNACK: 200CSnickers   750 TOTAL
lins12

lins12

1
Teresita's Journal
 

19 days

19 20 21 22 23 24   25 26 27 28 29 30 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8   2 last weigh ins this month (June 20 and June 26) 15 days away from birthday (July 4 no scale to weigh in) 19 days away from bandiversary (July 8)
Teresita

Teresita

1
Teresita's Journal
 

Good Morning

Well today is one day away from having to weigh in after 2 whole weeks. It has been driving me ......to eat...not crazy. Yeah I will blame any weight gain on them.   I am exciting and scared to weigh in. I am glad I walked this weekend. 3 miles at Haines Point with Kee was not easy. Thank God for sending one of his angels, a fiesty, older lady who could out walk us decided not to walk with her 2 daughters but with us. She talked and she walked and talked and walked. Finally she decided to leave us near the end but if she had not been with us I would have said Kee I need to slow down and would have. This woman kept our speed up.   Also, everything was going on at the park. There was a triathalon going on, there is a swimming pool down there. There was a 10k training going on and it had to be about 200 people doing that. Then there were the usual walkers and joggers and all of this was going on at 7:30 am.   Sunday morning I knew I had to walk so I text Kee again and she said where. I thought PGCC would be good because the track was resurfaced but then I started thinking about the sun. So I said Watkins Park, which is what she said on Saturday. Then she said well let's walk around Fed Ex Field, you don't know how big that things is but I got to her house got out the car and we were stretching. I said are we going to be in the sun the whole time and she said pretty much. I said let's go to Watkins, I can't do it. After not walking for a few weeks, daily, I was not motivated to walk in the beeming sun, after walking yesterday and know how I was struggling....oh no. We went to Watkins and the trees were just a tall and blocked out ALL the sun. LOL There are 2 spots on the trail that does not have tree coverage and that sun was beaming. 3.4 miles done in comfort. That girl has more energey then a jumping bean.   sat sm salad, pickle egg salad steakum/cheese 1 bread slurpee med 4 crackers spoon of peanutbutter fried egg 1 cheese few doritos McD sundae,pie 580 cal     sun 2 fried eggs 2 cheese 1 1/2 sausage 8 M&M's hamburger/ 1 cheese Roast Beef soup hershey bar w/ almonds cereal sundae/pie 580 cal
Teresita

Teresita

1
Ali's Musings and Meanderings...
 

utterly miserable

I haven't felt so sad for the longest time. It's like a huge weight in my heart and now it's gotten hold it doesn't want to let go. I went away for the weekend and had a lovely time. I ate out but didn't go mad and I swam and walked to make sure I kept up my exercise. Came home and this morning got weighed...both my analogue scale and my mother-in-laws digital say I gained 8lbs. Don't want to talk, don't want to eat dont want to exercise...what's the damned point? Just leave me to cry it out :think
A1ikou

A1ikou

3
sunnybitrider's Journal
 

lap-band...what?

This is my version of my lap-band experience.   Tomorrow, 6/19/06, I go to see Dr. Brad Ray for my first appointment in my journey to have a lap-band procedure. I am very excited, but apprehensive. The positives definitely outweigh the negatives right now, but we'll see. I just want to change my life for the better so not only can I have a life, but a more improved life, to be around for my grandchildren, not just my children.   Current weight: 278 Goal: 135 Height: 5'5" Weight to lose: 143
sunnybitrider

sunnybitrider

1
lianna's Journal
 

June 17

186.5 lbs   The weight seems like it is coming off at a snails pace now. I guess it really isnt so bad. I started June at 190, so I have lost 3.5 lbs these last 2 weeks. I have 8 weeks of summer break left, I hope I can drop 12 more before school starts. I guess that will be my new goal......174lbs by August 15 (which is my 14th anniversary!).
lianna

lianna

1
avilla's Journal
 

The Count Down!!

:clap2: Here we are...Finally, 4 more days till surgery...I have been stocking up on things that I know that I will be needing over the next few weeks and all of a sudden appear to be a pack rat (which I swore I would never be)...But of course why buy the small batch of whey when you can buy the 5 lb batch and save money in the long run and while your at the store why not get the vanilla and the chocolate (cuz you have got to have a variety)...Then of course a couple packs of straws so you can sip sip sip...I am not even going to get started on the collection of broth that I have and still growing...I am just so excited about it all and want to be totally ready...I still need to get out today and get some chewable viatamins and some diet drinks and then I think I will be set for a while...I think that I am going to be on liquids for a couple weeks and want to be prepared...Lapband, here I come...Preop on the 21st and the big day on the 22nd!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!:scared:
avilla

avilla

1
patricia1952's Journal
 

GOD BLESS YOU 'FATHERS'

Happy fathers day......So excited...actually, once again, zipped my smaller shorts that actually have button and zipper, and not only that, but am going to wear them all day....Happy Day...I have about six pair that a friend gave me that are brand new, that she never wore...She had the molena band, and lost over 100 lbs, but has gained most back...Hoping that she might have the band redone...She gave me some beautiful clothes that she had barely got to wear....I'll save them for her after I use them.....Mostly 18's and some 16's....I gave away all my smaller clothes to people in mexico when they had lots of flooding a few years backc...Thank God for these clothes..   Am in the process of drinking my 2nd latte....Tummy is feeling much better today...Am not going to take any pain pills or mobic *anti-imflamatory...I did take an ambien so I could get to sleep last night...I'm having lots of pain...and am able to handle it during the day...the night time is worse...but with God's help, I shall overcome pain..   Think I will drink a slim fast for breakfast to let my tummy heal...Can't drive yet, so can't get to church....God bless all the fathers...
patricia1952

patricia1952

1
patricia1952's Journal
 

Nice day

today hubby and I drove down the coast and looked at some sail boats...dream of ours is to own a boat and travel the islands when we retire,,,without weight loss there was no hope that we could even dream the dream...My tummy not feeling too good having a cold and swallowing the flem...I drank a real coke to help get rid of the junk in my upper tummy so I could eat...I have had trouble with this week because of the cold...Today I drank 1 coke, ate 2 packs of peanut butter crackers snack pack...For lunch we ate at a nice resturant overlooking the marina...I was able to eat a small piece of fried fish...and 1 french fry...just could not eat anymore...I'm sure I've lost some weight this week, but am not too concerned about getting on the scales...I can't "not" "not' be loosing because I don't eat that much...1000 calories a day...I'm not getting alot of exercise because of the broken leg...3 more weeks, and hopefully it will come off...Randy had to push me around in the wheel chair...It was a beautiful day...The water and sky was so pretty....I dream of what it will be like when we get to travel some...and learn to sail...praying that my broken things will heal...
patricia1952

patricia1952

1
Love, Family, Weight, Hip Hop & Vegetarianism
 

doin the damn thang!

okay so i have quit smoking for 7 days (had 2 cigs midway thru but not counting those, lol) seven days since i was a smoker of Newports, ugghhh! battling that for the last 17 years... i really feel good. also have been doing VERY good with pre-op diet last few days it is HARD but i have my eye on the prize and i am not gonna try and not fuck up as much as i can so i can hopefully lose some weight b4 surgery and have my liver be cool...
BeacheeGirl

BeacheeGirl

2
vanmom's Journal
 

Life since my lapband

I had my lapband done on Dec 30, 2005 and to date have lost 50 lbs. some people tell me that is not much for having this surgery, but I am excited about the weight lost. when you can not even lose 1 lb this surgery is a miracle for me. I'm not good at sharing my feelings or experiences with others due to so many years of always having people tell me that the weigh was always my fault and if I really wanted to do something about it I would. So this is new to me and probably why for so long I wouldn't post anything. Today I am not doing well, I have been sick now for 4 days with liquid diarrhea and I don't know why and I am starting to get a little concerned.:cry
vanmom

vanmom

2
lins12's Journal
 

JUNE 16

184 ( :phanvan )   I don't want to be 184 but...I am. Still REALLY anxious. My anxiety has been SO bad. Looking forward to the weekend. Actually, Sunday. Tomorrow will be stressful. The good news is that I have accomplished some major things; however, the next two weeks will be NUTS!!! I hope I can make it. I would LOVE to just be under 180 when I leave. ONLY 4 MEEZLY pounds. I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   BREAKFAST: 180 Starbucks 130 Cottage DOuble 3310 total   ***I am pretty much writing today off given the fact that I have two lunch appointments. Not good-but I will deal with it and do the best I can.   LUNCH: chips queso guacamole a little beans a little tort soup   SNACK 180 Starbucks
lins12

lins12

1
luvlif's Journal
 

6/16 210!

:clap2: 6 month anniversary! 210 lbs:clap2: :clap2: 69 lbs down! my size 10 will fit by July 4th:clap2: :clap2: my old Bob's store cream colored shirt w pockets fits!:clap2: :clap2: I'm so happy I have summer clothes that fit!:clap2: my brand new teal, blue, and purple Victoria Secrets bras all fit I'm now a 36d
luvlif

luvlif

1
Teresita's Journal
 

Feeling the Pressure

Let's see how many days to go...4 days till next weigh in which I am nervous about. 18 days till birtdhay and 22 days till bandiversary. Not a lot of days but I will do what a girl has to do.   I have to get on the ball. My eating is not what it should be. I'm not going to beat myself up over it because I have less restriction, I have been eating things I normally would not but the novelty is wearing off. I am slowly getting back to slimfast, frozen diet meals and meal planning. I'm also getting back to my exercise. Not full force yet but I will be there this weekend.   Work out now June 20 weigh in will help me better gauge what I am going to do.   Next week slimfast, salad, protein, soup.   JUNE 6 -3 388   JUNE 13 no weigh in tonight(not happy about this) I WILL exercise instead   JUNE 20 (-6) +5 393   JUNE 27 (-4)   JULY 4 (-3)
Teresita

Teresita

1

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