"So many dreams at first seem impossible. And then they seem improbable. And then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." Christopher Reeve
The Body Achieves what the Mind Believes
Nothing tastes as good as getting to goal feels!
Desire is the missing element for most of the people who fail.
Well I took the kids to SW this morning. We got there around 10 & left around 2. I'm tired and thirsty. :faint:
B 8:00am: ProRated drink w/12 oz 2% milk
S @SW 12ish: Two handfulls of Buggles & an apple
L 3:00: Asian Salad (60% of it-but all of the chicken) @ Jack N Box plus 4 spoonfulls of chocolate shake and 5 FF
D 7:00: 2 Del Tacos that I made into a salad w/dressing (no shell) and a few (5)chips w/nacho cheese
I brought ProRated w/me so I could buy some milk but I left my walet at home--duh. So there went a good idea.
I've had 20 oz water so far. Just haven't had it in front of me. I need to get working on it for today.
I don't know if it's the water or what, but for the past two nights I've had a headache that startes around 8pm. Nothing seems to help it either.
The kids were ok so it may our time nice. It was good to get out w/them again.
5:20pm I'm on my second 20 oz cup since I got home. Headache still there and it's hot here.
Not to hungry since I ate late but the family is and DH just got home. Oh wo is me and me is tired.
7:45pm OMG the kids; tonight must have been Q&A for DH and his hot rodes he had as a young buck. DH kept asking me "are they like this all the time w/you?---YES"
I don't think I'll make the 64 oz today. I still have the second one I started right before DH came home.
Ha; my headache is gone though! :clap2:
Have PTA stuff to start on--I'm to tired but I'll give it a try.:Banane10:
I had 4 cups left to drink--not bad for a late start.
Ok so with 7 days left - even thought the Nutritionist said I don't have to - I figured I would go with the shake, shake, greens with balsalmic vinegar diet. I just got back from the store - got my "greens" and balsalmic vinegar and have sat down to eat it - YUK! Must be the greens because I acutally like vinegar dressing....Next time I'll go with iceburg lettuce. If I don't puke I'll be doing good...
Oh! We all are bloody-well boozin! (chorus from my favorite Victorian Drinking song.)
One of my weird personal observations is that when I'm in a High I also want alcholic beverages. I mean, I almost crave them.
I'm not now, nor have I ever been an alcholic, but I'm certianly predisposed to being one. My Greatgrandfather was, my grandfather, my dad and 3 out of my 4 sibs are alcholics. Because I've always know of my family history, and the possiblilty of being predisposed, I've always been very careful with my alcohol use.
When I'm on a High, alcohol has little if any effect one me that I can feel. No Buzz for me, no tipsy feeling no nothing. As an experimnet I'm gonna see if I can find some of those personal use alcohol tester that I've been told they sell at convinence stores. When I'm in a Low, I don't have any desire to drink.
I just thought this was very interesting.
Drinking Alcohol May Correct Stress-Hormone Malfunction http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/36/12/20-a
A new study has linked an abnormal response in stress hormones to alcoholism and proposes that for a person with alcoholism, drinking alcohol may actually "correct" the abnormality.
The reward of a euphoric response to alcohol that most people experience is known to be related to the release of stress hormones. A new study suggests that people who are alcoholic may actually drink alcohol for its apparent ability to help correct a dysfunctional stress response.
The study reported two significant findings: First, some patients recovering from alcoholism, even after prolonged abstinence from alcohol, continue to have a significantly suppressed stress-response system. Secondly, their systems appear to be hypersensitive to serotonin. The study is described in the May issue of Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research.
According to the authors, some patients who are alcoholic respond differently from nonalcoholic patients to stressful situations that involve the brain’s serotonin system and may drink alcohol under stressful conditions in order to "correct" their brain’s response to the stress.
Subjects recovering from alcoholism were given fenfluramine to cause an acute increase in serotonin activity. This was then suspected of causing increased activity in the subjects’ limbic-hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (LHPA) axis—the system of interconnected brain structures that becomes especially active in response to stress—leading to secretion of the stress hormone cortisol by the adrenal glands.
"Our major finding," said researcher Robert M. Anthenelli, M.D., "was that alcoholics who had been abstinent for an average of more than four months had a twofold greater cortisol response compared with nonalcoholics following administration of fenfluramine." Anthenelli, the study’s lead author, is an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine and director of substance dependence programs at the Cincinnati Veterans Affairs Medical Center.
He said the finding is surprising in that it contrasts with most other published reports indicating a blunted or unchanged stress response in patients who are alcoholic, with shorter periods of abstinence.
"We also found that the stress-hormone response in recovering alcoholics did not return to baseline levels as quickly as it did in age- and race-matched nonalcoholic control subjects. In other words, it appears that some of our recovering alcoholics had difficulty turning off the fenfluramine-induced stress response."
While the authors did not directly speculate on the implications of the findings, other researchers have. "It is reasonable to speculate," said Stephen Woods, M.D., professor of psychiatry and of neuroscience at the University of Cincinnati, "that there are physical consequences of this." Whether the change in the LHPA axis is the result of prior brain differences or is a consequence of former consumption of large amounts of alcohol isn’t yet known, Woods said in a press release issued by the National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse.
"An interesting clue, however," Woods suggested, "is that the elevated cortisol response is reminiscent of what has been observed in individuals who have never before experienced alcohol, but who are considered at high risk for developing alcoholism. One possibility, therefore, is that the prolonged elevation of cortisol following fenfluramine is characteristic of certain alcoholism-prone individuals and can be observed either before they ever drink or after a prolonged period of abstinence."
"We propose," said Anthenelli, "that this may represent a trait marker of alcoholism . . .that could distinguish subgroups of alcohol-dependent people or those who have a predisposition for alcoholism from people who do not."
Woods thinks that the findings may suggest that the reason some people drink more alcohol and eventually become alcoholic "is that a ‘defect’ in their LHPA response to serotonin is ‘corrected’ by alcohol. If this were the case, then alcohol would have a greater degree of reward value for those individuals than for people who do not have the same ‘defect.’ "
"Stress Hormone Dysregulation at Rest and After Serotonergic Stimulation Among Alcohol-Dependent Men With Extended Abstinence and Controls" can be accessed on the Web at www.alcoholism-cer.com by entering "Anthenelli" under "Author." {blacksquare}
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Oregon 5-day work up 4/24
UFC 214 on 6/21
UFC 299 on 7/21
UFC 292 on 7/22
Cyclical Cushing's
If it walks like a platypus, talks like a platypus, looks like a platypus, it must duck because it has a duck bill and besides, platypus are too rare around these parts....
UFCs crucial
For Tyranny of the Jug
Pee into the hat
Today I went to the hospital to have blood drawn. My PCP wants to check my thyroid, blood suger and cholesterol levels. Everyone was super nice there and made me feel really comfortable.
As I was walking down the maze of the hospital I happened to get a glimpse of the surgeon who would be doing the surgery. I only saw him for a few seconds but he looked kind and gentle. He had smiling eyes and was casually talking to a co-worker.
Right after I had my blood drawn, I went to get the oil in my car changed. My phone unexpectedly range and it was the surgeon's nurse. She told me that they had a cancellation and I would be able to see the surgeon today for my pre-op consult! eek! I took the opportunity as I will be beginning to teach in a few weeks and will have very limited time for all of these appts.! I was not originally supposed to see him until Aug. 21st!!!
Wish me luck, I will be leaving in just a bit, armed with quite a list of ?s from the board! Thank you!
I walked 1 mile in 20 mins (3 mph average, but with some bursts of speed up to 5 mph!!) last night. Then added 6 more minutes...That's the good news.
Only one more week till surgery!
The bad news is since I faithfully gave up smoking (I'm doing GREAT with it now!) I've been eating at night. It's like I'm asleep, but not all the way - I get up, I eat - and not stuff I'm supposed to be eating!! Crap, like the leftover pizza last night (one piece of that last night) - or the chips (which I HATE having in the house anyway) left over from our BBQ, or a handful of chocolate chips - just the chips, no cookie...It's like an obsession. I do great all day - then at night it all goes out the window....
It's gotten worse these last few days and I feel horrible about it. WHAT DO I DO? I'm afraid its fucked up my (sorry about the language, but hey its my journal!) weight loss before surgery. I might be over reacting but I still feel bad.
Quit drinking, quit eating, quit smoking - all my vices are gone and I feel like I'm trying to hold on to one of those slippery water toys - the water worm? I try to hold on, but it slips out of my hand - *sigh* Can I do this? How do I REPLACE my vices with something good for me??
So far, as part of my pre-op preparation I have:
21/7/06 Met with the GP (Dr Richards) for initial referral to surgeon; was weighed at 132kg. He said to eat less and move more - and that I'm depressed - well der fred! Of course I'm depressed - without hope of losing weight until I heard about LapBanding. I need a new GP.
28/7/06 Met with surgeon (Mr Chris Hensman, EndoSurgery Victoria)for initial consultation; was weighed at 134.3kg
Had chest x-ray at The Valley Private Hospital
5/8/06 Had blood, urine, ECG tests at Melbourne Pathology, Edithvale
5/8/06 Met with GP to discuss Enhanced Primary Care Plan (referrals for dietician and psychologist) recommended by the surgeon.
8/8/06 Met with physician (Dr Lim); was weighed at 132kg. Told I have a heart murmur. I'm to have an cardiac ultrasound (echo) on 10/8/06. Mum tells me that Nana Vi had one (which wasn't picked up until she was over 90!), as does Carla (cousin). Dad has a "missing heartbeat".
8/8/06 Dropped paperwork for EPCP to GP's office. He had secretary call in the evening to say he wouldn't do it / doesn't think it's necessary. This means I'll have to pay for these visits via health insurance, resulting in a much bigger out-of-pocket cost to me. Now I KNOW I need a new GP - one who is band-friendly and more supportive. I'll ask ESV for information, or go and talk to Dr Dillon. (TERESITA - THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT!!)
18/8/06 Second visit to Dr Lim. Heart murmur due to turbulent blood flow. Blood tests all normal, including triglycerides, cholesterol, glucose. I am good to go. Booked surgery date with ESV for Oct 5th. Roller coaster of emotion today, as dad also announced his retirement - but am elated!
24/8/06 Met jenny from LBT for a coffee - very nice lady, and very reassuring.
26/8/06 Had psychological evaluation with weight loss counsellor. Going in, I was very sceptical, and feeling defensive, however I was determined to be open and get as much out of the experience as possible. She says my emotional cues for eating are likley to be anxiety / wellbeing imbalance related. So I need to take more time to sit in the sun and do more things for myself that promote my wellbeing. oooh goody - a prescription for massage! LOL! A life-changing and very positive experience.
29/8/06 Went to fist Bandworks meeting at TVP - wow so many people! I haven't really clicked into this group yet, however met some really nice people, including tolmc (Vicky)and tarajane (Lisa) from LBT.
31/8/06 Dietician group session #1. Went through pre-op diet and post-op liquid stage. tolmc (Vicky) was there also - she's being banded in a couple of weeks.
...for the benefit of any journal visitors! (edited and updated form introductions thread)
I am SOOOO glad I found this forum - reading posts over the past few weeks, and viewing all those inspirational before / after shots has helped me in my decisions and plans immensely. God Bless all LBTers for sharing and caring so much:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: - I hope that I may contribute to the forum as well as the benefits I'm already enjoying.
I'm 34, a mother of one boy (who's 5), married to a WONDERFUL man (he always cheers me on, and thinks I'm sexy however I look! Bless him!). I work part-time as a consulting environmental scientist.
I have been thinking of getting banded for over a year - but only just started to discuss it with my hubby in July. I got a referral from my GP this week, and first met with surgeon in early August (with Mr Chris Hensman at EndoSurgery Victoria, Mulgrave).:nervous
I have fought the battle of the bulge since I was 16 - when my mum joined me at WW - since then I've been the classic yo-yo ride of WL support systems, diets and pills. Depression and control issues with food haven't helped either :Banane10: (Man! How do I relate to some of the stories posted to the forum!) I want to GET OFF THE ROLLER COASTER - NOWWWW!!!!
My weight has hovered around 135kg since just after my son was born. My hubby was made redundant from his job at the same time, so my emotions and eating were all over the place for a LONG time. I maxed out at 138 - 140kg during last year.:omg: I'm currently around 132kg. (I'm so ashamed...) The thing is, until recently, I've never felt big or heavy. Because I'm a pear-shape, and therefore most my fat is on my legs / hips / rear end, it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind".
Only this year have I felt too big / fat / tired / slovenly / unfit / "insert any other of your favourite self-depretiating terms here" (they'd apply here) to get off my but and do things - even things I love to do like play with son (who can run like the wind) or gardening. Cleaning the house even feels like too much effort...
I feel like that a lot of the emotional baggage I've been carrying around has been put down over the past year, and is now GONE FOR GOOD. :clap2: Hubby and I have a stable, Christian marriage, we have a loving home life and good jobs and career prospects. It was a long struggle. I also feel like I'm able to finally put down the bags I've carried siince school days, feelings of insecurity and inadequacy (God knows why I have them in the first place, but the mind is a beast...). I honestly feel that if I can make a break in the weight gain-loss cycle, and lose the excess weight once and for all, that I'd have a great chance that the fat would also be GONE FOR GOOD. I guess none of this is new to many / most of you in LapBandTalk land. Anyway, it's these new feelings about myself that have shocked me into doing something more to lose the kilos- enter the LAPBAND - dadadadaaaaaa!!!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:
My hubby & I REALLY want more babies - but right now I'm too scared of complications / dying to contemplate getting pregnant yet. I can't seem to lose the 15kgs and 5 years of age I put on since I had my son... The desire to make some new people for our family to love is also contributing influence to my decisions right now, but not the main motivation.
Initially, I'd like to get down under 100kg before trying for another baby, and then after that continue on towards an ultimate goal of 60kg - 70kg (would be nice on a 5ft 4inch girl...). I think I was about 15 when I last saw my weight defined by a number lower than 70kg.:cry :faint:
:help: I'd like to hear from anyone who has conceived / had a baby after LapBanding. My GP suggested we had a baby (or two) first, and then the LapBand - the way I feel right now, I don't think that would be sensible - I can almost feel diabetes or a heart attack at the thought of it!:sick The surgeon said at least three months, although the longer we wait after the banding, obviously, the better th weight loss would have been.
Also, I am really nervous about how I will adjust to the Bandster's lifestyle given how much and how often I eat. Feelings of hunger / fullness / satiety etc are almost meaningless to me right now. I'm looking forward to changing this, but for now, the thought of restricting food volume and types fires up those old feelings of rebellion!:hungry: :angry :Banane20: Definitely need counselling, support and reflection in this area.:nervous
Anyway - enough introductions - let's make music!!!
I can come in here and do back flips and cartwheels.....whooohooooo
I LOST 4 POUNDS LAST NIGHT.........WOOOOHOOOOO.......I NOW WEIGH 3 HUNDRED EIGHTY FIVE POUNDS.......385...YEAHHHHHH I AM SO HAPPY:lol:
459-389-385-380-375 :wow2: I can't wait to get to 375 that is 10 pounds away.
August 15 -3 pounds
August 22 -3 pounds
August 29 -3 pounds
I can do this. :humble: I have enough weight that I can lose 3 pounds a week. OK this is where I get stressed out about adding strenght training and causing muscle gain....whhhhhhhhh breath, muscle burns fat.
:Banane10: :Banane20: :Banane20: :Banane20:
3min circuit 9:35
I started something new yesterday. I filled up a jug with 64 oz of water and I drank it all. It wasn't hard, I just had to remember that I had it there to drink.
Yesterday
B: 1.5 c Tuna Salad
L: 3 Chkn Taqitos & 3 Fish sticks
D: Beef Salad
late Nite Snack: Coconut Caramel Promax Bar (all of it)
Today:
16 oz water first
10:25am: ProRated 20oz (1.5 scoop)
working on 2nd water.
12:45pm: 3 oz steak, 2 oz chkn flvrd pasta (in my back in the upper part it hurts like heartburn)
working on 3 cup
3:40pm: Promax coconut carmel bar
My feet hurt last night after we got home and I had a headache. I think my shoes are not the right kind. May need to buy new ones (walking shoes).
Only got up once last night to pee.
A restrictive device gave me complete freedom from the prison that had held me captive: food.
WILLO SAID MY JOURNALLING IS WHAT IS MAKING ME SUCCESSFUL IN SHEDDING THE LBS....I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE BY DOING THAT.
Its working, yipee....Hopefully it stays steady for a while!! But of course I keep changing the goal weight that I want to end on...I wont know what that will be till I get there and feel comfortable
We had a great circuit training workout last night. I loved it, I can see me and my daughter doing that one. OK this is what we did.
Hands against the wall as if you are going to do a wall pushup instead lift your knee to your chest and 1 2 3 4 ....10 swictch other kneee and 1 2 3 4....10
Feet together and step right foot out and back together and the left foot out and back togther and out and in out and in out and in right and left righ and left 20
Fist in front of you to punch so twist to the left and puch right arm, twist to the right and punch left and go left punch and right punch left punch and righ punch 20
March in place, and march and march and march and march.
All of this can be done while sitting also. Oh yeah the stretches felt good also...whewwwww good work out. I can see myself doing these at home, dare I say everyday:cry
You know I am going to do this at work today. So hourly, 2 minute training today.
10am
Here comes reality, protein shakes and water, and incision pain. I hope that the pain meds work until the pain goes away. Husband is difficult, if I knew how difficult I wouldn't have done this today.
My general doctor, PCP, requested to see me since I was considering WLS and asking her to send in medical info. to my insurance company.
I was a little nervous going in today since her nurse did not specifically state why she wanted to see me, but I had some idea.
It is not terribly easy talking with my doc about the WLS since she is a very "traditional, old school" doctor and has very little experience with WLS. Usually, my doc. is rather understanding and supportive, but during our discussion today about WLS she was rather distant. I think it is time to find a new PCP, especially since I moved quite a bit away from the doc. and it would be nice to have a doc. that knows more about WLS, since it is a life long change.
I shared with her info. that I received from the hospital I would be getting my surgery at. All she really had to say was how she was concerned about the risks, and really did not say, but the risks of being obese....She checked my thryoid too since that is a big concern since my sister having thyroid cancer, all seemed to be well there.
I shared with her my dieting history and problems that my fat is causing me, which at this point is mostly emotional, and some joint aches. Truly, I am concerned about the long term risks and effects of my excess weight.
She wants me to get some blood work done before she writes a letter to the insurance company for me. She said that she wants to check my blood sugar and thyroid levels along with my cholesteral. At the end of the appt. she said that she will help me through it.
The doctor also shared with me that perhaps the Paxil that I am on could be causing me to gain weight. We looked through the records have I have gained nearly 40 lbs in a year since I have been taking Paxil, eeeek!
However, i can't go off of Paxil, so I guess we wont really know, unless there is another anxiety medicine I can take. :rolleyes
I went AWOL for a couple of days! Actually I wasn't good - I broke my smoking rule and smoked a couple of cigarettes but I'm back on the wagon today. That's all I can do.
I've spend the last 2 days playing in the pool and relaxing with my kids and my friend. I am burnt!!
I walked today with the kids on the Centennial Trail for just over 50 minutes. It wasn't fast (probably 2 - 2.5 MPH), but we did stray off the path and walk up a few steep slopes.
I'm getting nervous.
DH is scared, and angry and worried I think. He thinks I'm going to end up running off with some younger guy when I get healthy. I'm struggling with his fears right now. Don't know what to do or say that will help him feel better. I'm doing this for my health and even if he is scared and insecure about it, I'm not changing my mind. He says he supports me, but I can't see how - if he thinks this will lead to divorce....
UPDATE: 10 p.m. Walked half a mile at 3.5 for good measure since todays walk was slower with the kids. Feels good to have some energy back. Haven't smoked ALL day....
Well, I got my first fill on Friday...I have lost very little since...I just thought it would be a little faster, but I can wait...I started out on the day of my fill at 22.5 lbs lost and am now at 24.5 so I can deal with that...I am doing everything by the book...Measuring my food, making good choices, getting in all my water and protein and working out 30 minutes a day...My time will come and I am working hard to get there...Sometimes I feel like its trying to beat me, but I refuse to let it...So far so good, I cant feel much restriction from my fill really...Its nothing like some of the horror storys that some tell on here...The only difference is that I seem to get full a little quicker and have to stop eating, so thats good...A few pounds here and there is better than nothing and better than gaining for sure...I still havent broken the habit of jumping on the scale several times a day, but I am sure that will stop with time...My only problem is that while i am making dinner I might grab a taste of this and a taste of that while I am cooking then dont have much room for dinner, but I have to work at getting rid of that nasty habit cuz I really enjoy my family time during dinner...All good things come to those that wait!!
I'm literally almost crying reading this. Mostly because I'mon this pre-op diet and these last two days have been difficult... but also because I needed this! Thank you! Congrats! And a BIG congrats on quitting smoking a second time! It was hard enough to do it once... So - when I say BIG congrats... I mean BIIIIIG congrats! ❤️
Was sind last resting-place besten Gewinnchancen in einem Casino? "Einarmige Banditen"
Einarmige Banditen
Casinos werden in erster Linie mit Roulette und Poker in Verbindung gebracht, aber Statistiken zeigen, dass 61 % der Besucher von Spielhallen ihre Zeit damit verbringen, einarmige Banditen zu spielen (Daten von 2013 von der American Gaming Association). Perish Regeln der Spielautomaten sind sehr einfach, und der niedrige Mindesteinsatz macht sie auch fur decease armsten Spieler zuganglich.