I don't have many pictures of me (not even face shots). I was looking to for one to post and I don't have any. I also haven't hung up any of my weddings photos -- you know the event that I paid a gazillion dollars for and hired a professional photographer. We don't even have any family photographs. My memories are filled with photos of the kids - none of me.
I've noted that I really am happy with who I am until I look in the mirror; then, I don't recognize the person staring back at me. Apart from my health issues, in my heart ... I don't feel that hugely fat. It's amazing how a layer of fat makes you look like a different person.
I'm tired of getting together at family gatherings and the topic of conversation is always losing weight and the pure shock at how much I've gained. Truthfully, sometimes I start that conversation because I feel defensive... Hey, you tend to develop a coping mechanism.
I want to live my life ... I don't want to feel like getting dressed is a chore. Going to the store and feeling like a failure because I can't find jeans that fit me right... Oh, the dreaded muffin top when I sit down. I swear it constricts my breathing. Ughh. On that note, I only have one pair of jeans that fit me right now. I also have a closet full of clothes that are way too small. I don't know why I keep them. I wear the same the same work clothes every week because I don't like to think about putting outfits together. I like the comfort of knowing exactly what I'm wearing ... to assure I have no disappointments.
This is all apart from knowing that if I continue on this path, I will develop more health issues related to weight.
Don't get me wrong, I have parts of my life that I'm very proud of -- career, family, etc.
I just want to live a longer and healthier (and more physical) life not being ashamed of how I look. I just want to be able to tie my shoe without getting winded. I just want to take a family photo and put it on the wall ...
Roaming around I found this website which is pretty cool. Shows really women at different weights, heights, and shapes. I think it will help me to get a better idea of where I want to end up.
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
Done my first ever 5K Run/Walk today in Johns Creek, GA. Rained the whole time and the temp was pretty cool. But it was a lot of fun and I didn't even think on the wet and cool weather. Think it was better than if it had been one of the 100 degree days we sometimes get.
Also had a friend in the 5K that had gastric bypass surgery just 2-3 days ago and she also finished. She did real well through the whole 5K.
Kinda look forward to doing another one sometime, maybe soon. :-)
I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
Ok, rant over. :-)
We made it to the circus last night and I am happy to announce, no one stepped in elephant poop! (Thank the good Lord above for that) The kids had such a
great time, it was a really good show! I haven't been to the circus in many years, it was great to see the reaction on my children's faces when they saw the
many wonders of the circus world! Its moments like these that we live for.
Speaking of moments like these, today was the first of many baseball games for my kids! My oldest son played his very first baseball game today! I know this
may not seem like that big of deal to some. I actually cried! (laugh it off, its ok ... go ahead and laugh, I'll wait) My oldest son when he was only 3
years old was diagnosed with autism. He didn't talk much before the age of 6 years, to say the least we have come a long way! Here he is 12 years old and
one of the most amazing kids you would ever meet, believe me I am not just saying that because he is mine. He played an amazing basketball season helping
his team come into 2nd place out of the whole season (missing first place by 1 game). I had to talk him into trying baseball, I thought it would be a good
way for him to spend his extra time during the spring, and it might help him unwind from basketball. Since 2 minutes after his last basketball game he has
been dying to play again.
My family is very complicated, my children are a lot of work. That was the nice way of saying, my kids are out of control! It is very rare I will take all
four children some place without my husbands help, and the same for him. Each of the kids have sensory issues and it can really be a very stressful event to
do on your own. Today my sons first game was going to be at 9am and it was a half hour away! He needs to be there by 8:30. My husband has to work at 8 am.
So this means? I am doing this alone! My mother did take the youngest which was a big help, I took the twins with me. I found out during basketball season
that dum dums will keep them still and quiet, however you do pay for it since if my son has a half a gram of sugar he will bounce for at LEAST 3 hours! The
next best option is Nintendo DS! I set them up with that, me up with my camera and it was peaceful! During the second inning my son, my pride and joy, my
Trevor came up to the plate to bat! I was so excited and scared for him. I thought to myself "oh God, what if he misses?" just then the pitcher threw his
first ball, "STRIKE!" I said a little prayer "Dear Lord above, please, please for all that is holy let this boy hit that ball just once today!" I saw my son
(5 foot 11 inches, 195 pound power house) step into the batters box again and he raised his bat, perfect stance! Here comes the pitch.... and CRACK! There
goes the ball!!! I stood to my feet, screamed and yelled and literally cried like a baby! (the tears are coming back as I re-live this event now) every fan
sitting there cheered for MY boy! At least 4 or 5 mothers came to me during and after the game to express how amazed they were by his hit! MY son is amazing!
Tomorrow we begin our t-ball season with the twins. I can hardly wait!! My daughter is very devoted to baseball. She spent over 2 hours hitting off the tee
without direction the other day. When I asked her what she was up to her response was "duh, I'm working on my swing mom!" As for Ethan, her twin brother, he
would rather be playing in the dirt and that is where I expect to see him most of the game tomorrow. I can hardly wait!
Now for a quick update on myself. Ive had a lot of heart to heart talks with my husband about my surgery, my journey and I have come to realize that he is
my biggest and strongest rock! I will do all of this with grace as long as I have him by my side. I have one really awesome, amazing, and loving man for a
husband! And together, we got this! Today Aunt Flo visits, which is so crappy since yesterday my scale read 300.0 which I know 100% without a doubt today it
would have been 299! Since I started my period, I wont even breathe in the direction of my scale for the next 3 days. Sigh - the joys of being a woman! On
that note, I am going to hop off from here and go make up some yummy bbq for my family.. going to have grilled chicken, I myself am skipping the pasta salad
and going to go green instead, then I have a really yummy sugar free strawberry cheesecake cobbler to enjoy after! Bring on the warm beautiful weather.
I love my family, I wouldn't be anything without them, and Im coming to realize, they wouldn't be much without me either... self worth, turns out that's
pretty important!
The pain! Oh God, the pain! - no, just kidding. They put me under and I woke up with a scratchy throat. I wouldn't even have noticed my throat if I hadn't been warned that it might be sore.
I was under for about 20 minutes, woke up and was back in the car headed home within the hour. If they haven't told you, they won't let you drive yourself home, but I felt alert and had no after effects of the anesthesia.
They gave me the same stuff used on Micheal Jackson, to put him to sleep.
It was funny, they put a mouth guard in so I wouldn't bite the scope, said they were about the put me under.
Next thing I know, I'm waking up (thinking that I had just blinked my eyes) and I put the mouth guard back in because I thought I had let it slip out. The staff was laughing at me, cause I didn't realize the procedure was over.
Today is 3 day and Cabin fever is starting to kick in. I am moving around as much as I can’t but I can only move so far in my house. I can’t go outside because it is cold. Its 45 degrees today and I don’t want to risk me having in complications due to the weather.
I still have chest pain I am still waiting on that real good burp to come out. My left shoulder pain was coming and going but as of now it’s staying! It’s starting to get annoying! Hunger hasn’t kicked in yet but I did have a dream that I was eating a hamburger and drinking a soda. WTF? I blame the random food commercials I seen while watching the Cardinals and Brewers game last night (Go Cards) Have you ever noticed having many food commercials they show during games? No wonder I gotten fat! J/J
Today I started drinking my protein shake. I’ve been drinking about 4 oz. at a time. I need to get my strength back up. Especially if I am planning to leave the house today I need to be healthy. I see no visitors stopping by to see me except for my big sister. I forgot it is Cinco de Mayo weekend so none of my friends won’t be stopping by it’s nothing but text messages so far. Which is fine because it’s the thought that counts and besides I want them to kick it hard for me.
Other than that I am still in recovering mode and slowly getting back on track. And tomorrow I will do a little more.
Thanks for reading
It's been 7 weeks and my taste buds have been outta whack ever since surgery.
Today I noticed that things are getting back to normal. Up until today every flavor had to be very intense or it was bland.
I was mixing my Crystal Light 3 packs to a gallon, instead of the normal 2. But today, it just tasted too sweet and I had to water it down.
When I went out to eat tonight, I noticed the subtle flavors of my food - it actually tasted good. Normally I just bury it in salsa for the intense taste of salsa, what's under it didn't really matter.
So I think things are getting back to normal.
And one else experience something similar with flavors, smell, or touch?
I'm a groggy star. These videos were taken minutes after my return from surgery. I have watched so many videos from other sleevers who shared what they went through, I felt obligated to share my experience (even though I don't like my own pictures).
I was really groggy and in a lot of pain. And hittin that morphine drip like a muthar fu(shut your mouth!). :-P
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Yesterday was my 49th birthday. As I look back over the past almost-decade, I’m amazed at how much has changed, and how far I’ve come. Since I turned 40, I have gone through a number of big life changes, including divorce and remarriage, job/career changes, and achieving a college education. All of those changes have been enriching and empowering for me. It feels like my 40’s have just been one change after another. I have really come into my own over the past few years, in so many ways that I never anticipated. I am excited about becoming a professional counselor, and inspired by the opportunity to have a positive impact in my small corner of the world. I have been so blessed by supportive friends and family, and I am very grateful for the love that lifts me up each day.
Over the past few years, the one major negative change has been my mobility. I can no longer do so many things that I used to do and still want to do. The degree of limitation in my life has become unacceptable to me, and the time to take action is now. So, as I celebrate turning 49, I am already looking ahead to my 50th birthday next year. At that time, I will be 11 months post-op. I have no idea how much weight I will have lost, but I trust that my physical condition will have changed for the better. My plan is to celebrate the beginning of my new decade by doing something physical that would not have been possible at the end of this decade. I don’t know exactly what it will be, but I’ll think of something. It seems very appropriate to celebrate turning 50 by doing something that was not possible for me at 49. I don’t expect to start running or take up mountain climbing; I just want to walk without pain. I want to be able to stand for more than a few minutes, and maybe even to dance again. I want to be able to walk around downtown, or go shopping at the mall. I want to be able to do projects around my house and work in the yard. When we go to the beach, I want to be able to take Tony’s hand and go for a walk in the sand. But until that day comes, I will be thankful to hold his hand as I take this next step, and give myself a gift for next year and beyond.
When I first started this journey I had already made many efforts to lose weight. I had gotten up to 360lbs and lost a lot of weight doing Optifast 800. I believe I made it down to 292lbs only to gain it all back and add even more weight. At the height of my despair I was 404lbs or at least that is the highest I ever saw on the scale. The Journey from that to what you see today (I am still losing at a steady 1-2lbs per week) has been very interesting. I would attribute all of it to Weight Loss Surgery that I had in Mexico. I can honestly say that I have never lost weight like this before. I know that if you limit yourself to around 1200 calories per day that you will lose weight but not like this!
Not only do I not feel the intense hunger pangs of the past, I actually has lost the desire to over eat! It is very hard to put into words what is like to go from a person that could eat 3 or 4 plates of food to one that cannot finish one half of a plate of food.
People who have seen my struggle with weight know that I am finally in a stable phase of health and have seen all of the changes in me. I still battle with not being that guy that will barely fit in the airplane seat. I know that I am smaller and that all of my old clothes are far too big but each time I grab a size 38 pants (I used to wear size 56) I say to myself “these aren’t going to fit!” But they do, in fact I have on a pair at this very moment.
No one can tell you when you are ready for Weight Loss surgery but I think I have a pretty good idea when it should really be considered. When you have done everything that you can to lose the weight and you are successful, then fail, have success, then fail again maybe you should consider it. There are some decisions that I have made in my life that are the most important ones possible. My decision the accept Jesus as my Savior, marrying my awesome wife Yannie, and getting weight loss surgery in Mexico are the top three. I say that so you can understand, this is big for me and it can be the same for you as well!
I've had a lot of surgeries. Initial lapband surgery, a torsoplasty, breast augmentation, 2 port revisions and now, finally, a band replacement. So pain and feeling horrible is something I can put up with, because I know it's for a greater good.
But this nausea might have me beat. It's day 3 of it with last night being the worst. I spent a lot of the night dry retching and feeling like absolute crud. I alternated between goosebumps and convulsing and then shivering and burping then dry retching all over again. When I did sleep I had nightmares.
I've lost 7lbs in the last week but I feel so awful that for the first time, I am regretting what I've given up for the weight loss. My 7yo son is visiting and is going home back to his dad tonight and all I can think of is how all he saw this week is his mum in pain or so sick she can't spend any time with him.
My partner is being awesome. He keeps reminding me that this is not just for today but what I needed to do for my quality of life in the future, but I guess right now, I can't see it. I can't see past how horrible I feel.
I've spoken to hospital and they've suggested medication to ease the nausea so I'm going to try that and hope I can salvage the rest of the day with my boy. I'm hoping that at least that regret, I will be able to work on.
My office has an official celebration for everyone having a birthday each month. And they bring out the goodies. Lots of cookies, dips, chocolate gooey thingies and of course cake.
For reasons unknown to me the thought of all those goodies lined up for the taking triggers something in my brain. I get a ravenous hunger that almost compels me to eat stuff that normally I don't even think about. I just want to bury my face in the cake and go, "Nom nom nom. Oh, you're a dirty cake aren't you! Nom nom nom."
I was able to restrain myself to just one piece of coated popcorn. I thought it was a coated nut. Honest! AND it was yucky! (That's my story and I'm stickin to it!) I am not looking for applause or a pat on the back, since I only did what I was suppose to do - for the past 35 years. Just wanted to share that we all have our weak moments and demons to fight.
Keep Pimpin That Sleeve!
Hi, My name is Myla and I'm from Boone, IA. I am 48 years old, the mother of three beautiful daughters and grandmother to a gorgeous little grandaughter and one handsome little grandson.
We live close enough to all that I could see them daily and yet like to give them some privacy also. I work full time as a buyer for a company that I love...I have watched it grow from a mom and pop place to a huge company. I truly enjoy the challenges that come with my job...and after all who does not like to s spend money and haggle for a good deal... I also own my own online scrapbook store that keeps me hopping most of the time.
My daughters are all grown and with families of their own. My husband is retired and we are enjoying the the grandparenting years. Looking for some vacationing time. It is tough to do when one works full time and the other is retired. Our schedules dont usually match up.
About a year ago, I really started thinking more and more about a healthier way of life... I want to be here to see those grandbabies graduate and get married. Another fear that set in was I lost my own mother at 53 years of age...and as I approach that 50 mark it starts to get a little scarry. The doctor has told me that I have pre-hypertension... and so I have started to come into touch with my own health...
Over the years I have tried so many diets and the only one that really was ever successful for me was Weight Watchers, for my oldest daughters wedding, I lost 40 lbs.It just seemed as their was a big goal at the end...and once that was over... then the goal was gone. I also stumbled with some depression shortly after the wedding. I think it was a sense of knowing that it would not be long and the youngest would be gone from home also...Needless to say the weight came back on. It seemed like for the past 6 years I have held to between 230 and 240. Always being told that I was not over weight enough to have the surgery....You need that BMI to be at 40, well since I been shrinking in height over the past few years and have been working hard to quit smoking that number crept right up on me. Now at 5'6" and 253 lbs. I have to admit that I feel better not smoking and everything smells better...
With all this has also come the continued borderline high blood pressure, now the LDL is too high and the pre-diabetis... I have started the steps to have the Bariatric Sleeve done. I have been to one informational class, and have a group class on May 3, followed by the first visit with the Doctor on May 13th. I'm ready for the life style change and to be thin and feel good again. I know that it wont be easy, but I'm sure it will be so worth it.
Well we are down to the final stretch… this time next week I imagine I will be walking around the Star Medica hospital, burping up a storm and not feeling too clever.
The faster time seems to fly, the slower time goes… does that make any sense? Every day seems to drag waiting for my surgery, even though it has been full of adventures (mainly involving Justin). I’m so anxious to get on with this journey and bring myself up through the back swing of recovery.
I have been reading scores of forums, blogs and Facebook posts about people stalling in their weight loss efforts around week three post op. I am beginning to thing I have hit that stall myself already.
I have been pre-op dieting since April 08, and I dropped a total of 21 lbs… then this week my scales shot up 9 lbs literally overnight and have not moved! Now, I confess, having been on low carb, low calorie for three weeks, I have all but lost my appetite and I am barely getting my food in. Most days I will eat an Atkins meal bar (I think I am addicted they are so darn yummy), and some dinner. Add to that a decaf coffee with cream and sweetner, about 13 cups of water and a cup of tea at bed time.
Certainly a small enough amount of calories to make me loose – or maybe not enough to help me continue to drop. Either way, I am very disinterested in eating these days so I am not going to let the scale bother me… it’s just a number and in the end, it is going to come off. I am not changing my recorded weight, I am simply flicking my hair, putting my nose up and saying, “Screw you scale, you are wrong.”
At this point I think it’s a good thing that I have physically prepared myself to this extent – I will not suffer when I move to clear liquids for two weeks and thicker liquids for two more – the requirement for recovery with my doctor.
BRING. IT. ON.
Now, with all that said, almost nightly I am having strange vivid dreams about cheating on my diet!! Just last night I dreamt I “accidentally” ate chocolate, and a couple of nights before I dreamt I was sitting at a table eating cupcake after cupcake. What’s that about?!
It’s just too bad that the dreams battle my conscious mind, and cause angst. If I could control it I would say, "Hey Dream Girl… you snarf just as many of those delicious cupcakes as you want… do it every night and don’t spare a crumb!!"
My hubby and I just got back from a 3 day Anniversary trip to Vegas. I knew d be eating and drinking whatever I wanted, and I knew I'd gain weight. But I also knew I'd hunker down as soon as I got home and wean myself into my protein drink week. If I thought I was going to be able to forget about my weight issues a d upcoming surgery for a week....forget about it!
First off, I dreaded right away trying to fasten my seatbelt. My husband had to help my pull and stretch it so I could latch it. I was almost in tears. The next time I fly, it will be different. We went to a Buffett the first night and I enjoyed shrimp, crab sushi and a laded baked potato. I sampled a few desserts, but decided they weren't worth it. The old me would have eaten all that I took. The new me left a pork chop, carrots, sushi and several desserts on the table.
We did enjoy 2 Amazing steak dinners (one at Vic and Anthony's, and the other at Gordon Ramsay's.
Only once did I eat to the point of being over full....I told my husband: "I won't ever have to feel like this again" I know already that I will never ever eat that much food again!
I tried several times to not drink water with my meals...this and being hungry are the two things I worry about the most. I've been working on chewing to a pulp, taking smaller bites. But I'm still worried I will fail at this and be miserable because of it.
Last night as I was waiting to fall asleep, I actually wondered what God would think of me "mutilating" my stomach by having it hacked off? Then the voice in my head reminded me that I've already mutilated my body by getting 150# overweight!! I'm near tears writing this. I can't believe my husband of 36 years would still find me attractive or sexy at this size.
I just want to be done with this....I'm terrified that I won't be successful on this liquid diet, that my liver will be too big, or something will happen during surgery. I want to be successful....I want to do this! I deserve this...
From the start of my pre-op diet until 11 days after surgery I was losing roughly 1-2 pounds a day. Then nothing would come off. I was getting extremely frustrated and confused. I thought weight loss was a simple mathematical equation. I as taking in roughly 500 calories a day, but the weight was just stuck! Today I woke up and finally, I lost another pound! WooHoo
I had surgery on the 15th of April. My surgery was 9 in the morning, but I had to get there at 7:30. The hospital I went to (Depaul Health Center) was about an hour away. My mom and husband came with me. I was extremely nervous. I had a battle going on inside me. I wasn't sure if this is what God would want for me. I had anxiety. I thought I was going to die. My brother passed away April 22, 2012, and I didn't want to do that to my mom again. I tried to remain calm and voice all my concerns, but the anxiety did not go away until they gave me medicine. Leading up to my medication, I was weighed and they gave me some prep medications (for nausea and things). I got a shot in the belly (a blood thinner). The nurse put in my IV. She hit a nerve and I still have a little pain in my hand today, but it is a lot better. When I put on my gown, I used the cleaning wipes on my belly (made from the same chemical as the shower the night before and that morning). All the doctors and nurses and anesthesiologist came in and introduced their selves to me and my family. I was wheeled toward the operating room, but I don't remember much after that. I woke up in recovery (yay, I didn't die) and my belly on the left side hurt. I later found out that I did not have any cuts where it hurt but that my port was right under the skin there. An ice pack did bring some relief, but the drugs helped the most. I slept a lot and walked at nine at night because I really wanted the gas pain to go away. I stayed in the hospital over night until 3pm the next day. I had a contrast x-ray done that morning to make sure everything look good. It did. I walked several more times while I was in the hospital. That did help.
Oh yeah, I posted that terrible picture of me after surgery 8)
Went for a fill appointment this morning, talked over my hunger levels and loss history over he last month and the nurse suggested a .2 tweak, bringing me up to 4.9. So, liquids today, and mushies tomorrow. And I don't have to go back for a month.
I'm literally almost crying reading this. Mostly because I'mon this pre-op diet and these last two days have been difficult... but also because I needed this! Thank you! Congrats! And a BIG congrats on quitting smoking a second time! It was hard enough to do it once... So - when I say BIG congrats... I mean BIIIIIG congrats! ❤️
Was sind last resting-place besten Gewinnchancen in einem Casino? "Einarmige Banditen"
Einarmige Banditen
Casinos werden in erster Linie mit Roulette und Poker in Verbindung gebracht, aber Statistiken zeigen, dass 61 % der Besucher von Spielhallen ihre Zeit damit verbringen, einarmige Banditen zu spielen (Daten von 2013 von der American Gaming Association). Perish Regeln der Spielautomaten sind sehr einfach, und der niedrige Mindesteinsatz macht sie auch fur decease armsten Spieler zuganglich.