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NeverBeTheSameAgain's Blog
 

MY 521LB LIFE 2

Sorry yall! Me: "u must have the wrong #", Keisha: "do u kno Josh?"..Me: "yes thats my husband" Keisha: ur husband, Josh cant be married, he is over here EVERY day and some nights as well. Me: (starts 2 cry) well since u didnt know YES, he is married and we have a son. Keisha: I knew about his son, he has brought him over here before Me: (complete anger) Well let me tell u this, u better not EVER call my phone again and if u continue 2 mess with my family I will find u and it wont be pretty. Keisha: I dont have 2 come for him, he keeps coming for me (hangs up). I started crying & I grabbed my baby, I held him for what seemed like hrs & of course Josh is not home. I got up, went into the kitchen to make the baby a bottle..I cooked, cried & ate! Probably 2 hrs later, here comes Josh thru the door....I didnt even know what 2 say 2 him. I put the baby 2 sleep, then I told him we need 2 talk. We sat dwn & I told him everything she told me & he said, she doesnt mean anything & he's not going 2 tlk 2 her anymore" & this bastard actually started crying...lol A few weeks went by, me & Josh were laying in bed tlkin...he said baby, the Lord called me 2 preach, I looked at him, he was crying & I said u cant be serious, he said that he is very serious & he was going 2 change his ways & he was so sorry 4 all of the things he's ever done 2 me blah blah blah. Time went on & Keisha called again 2 tell me that Josh needs 2 bring her cd's back 2 her...she said they got in a fight the day after she tlked 2 me & she hasnt seen or heard from him since. I have 2 say, I had a sense of relief but I was still so hurt. I dont think she actually wanted any cd's but she just wanted 2 know what was going on. Anyway, 1 night we were sitting in Bible study & Josh said, "I have 2 tell u something, I will tell u after church." I had that bubbly feeling in my stomach like wht is it now but it cant be bad after all he is a "preacher" now. After, church was over we got in the car & I said "whats up now?" He said, " I dont know how 2 tell u this but Keisha found me & she saying that she is pregnant! I just looked at him & I said " U know what, I hate u..I wish I had never met u, I shoulda listened 2 all of the things my moma had 2 say about u, then I wouldnt have 2 feel like this..Is she really pregnant? He said, "I dont think so but she say she is." I turned & looked out of the window as we drove all the way home & I could remember having a feelin of rage, thinkin that I should kill him but if I did my son would be left without either 1 of us. When we got home, he begged me 2 forgive him, he said he has not seen her in months nor has he tlked 2 her. I believed him BUT I told him, if she is pregnant then u didnt protect urself & therefore was not worried about my life at all, ur selfish! The rest of the week was completely quiet in the house, I didnt say anything 2 him & he didnt say nothing 2 me. On sunday, we went 2 church & I watched him sit in that pulpit like he had it all 2gether, I left out of the back with the baby & we just sat in the back of the church as I cried. I was wondering tho, why wont I leave him, whats wrong with me? After church, he came lookin for me, I told him the baby was crying so I brought him out 2 walk around for awhile. We got in the car, went home & his phone started ringing from a private #...so of course I was listening real close as I COOKED dinner, he said, "what, where, ok man give me a minute"...so I came out if the kitchen & he said, "Im going 2 the store real quick & I will be right back". I looked at him & rolled my eyes as he left, he was gone about 30 mins, when he walked thru the door...he said, "I seen Keisha at the store & she still says that she is pregnant & I dont think she is, she didnt have any papers 2 prove it." I looked at him & said , "u left out of here 2 meet her?" He said, "I had 2 know." At that moment, I felt like he needs me...while I look back I see exactly how stupid I was for just stayin there taking whatever he dished out because I never had a family so I wanted 2 keep mine 2gether..I was a fool & I fooled myself in2 thinkin that he loved me. Anyway, we moved 2 another apt. (we moved 13 times the entire marriage smh), while we were cleaning the apt we were movin from...Josh left his phone in the kitchen while he went 2 take the last load 2 the new apt. Of course I looked thru it but I was shocked because I didnt see ANYTHING outta place, until I READ the messages. He had alot of messages back & forth between him & a dude named "Kenneth"...so I read them. One message said, "I'm not about 2 run after u behind ur baby...if u want 2 be in this baby life u need 2 say that or leave me alone" another read, "come see me 2day & bring me some of that ice cream u brought monday" another read, "are you going 2 leave her or what." As I put the phone back dwn Josh comes RUNNING thru the door tlkin about he left his phone, this time I wasnt going 2 play the good wife & not say anything. When he came in the room I was in I started punching him everywhere...he had a fight on his hands 2day & I wasnt going 2 stop until 1 of us was going 2 the hosp. After about 1 hr of fightin he threw me on the ground & he kicked me, he said, "im am not going 2 leave my kids behind because u want me 2, if thats my baby ima be there for it, rather u like it or not." We went 2 the new place & I was in the bathroom crying by this time my baby could tlk & he said, "what's wrong mommy?" What do I tell my baby, I couldnt tell him what was really wrong all I could say was "mommy dont feel good baby", he said, "ur stomach hurt, u hungry?" I cried more & said, Yes baby lets get something 2 eat." Days went by, weeks went by & Keisha was calling the house like everything was all good, she told me that she was getting an abortion because she didnt want 2 bring a baby in2 the world like this & that she didnt want 2 mess up my family. Are u serious, u dont think u already done that? That next week I went 2 the doctor he weighed me, I was 426 lbs & he told me that I had PCOS & that I would never be able 2 have kids again & since I had 1 already 2 be glad. I went home devestated, & with my stupid self I told Josh that maybe they should keep the baby because I wouldnt never be able 2 give him that again. I was depressed, devestated & for days I cried & ate all the time. Maybe a week went by & Keisha called 2 tell us that the next day she was aborting the baby & could she come over 2 tlk 2 Josh for a few minutes. He said, Yes come on over. I wondered, how could he be so disrespectful 2 me, why would he say yes 2 her coming over? So he went outside 2 tlk 2 her & he came in 2 hrs later, I asked wht happened & he said, "she told me how u been tlking about my mom, she told me how u been calling her everyday forcing her 2 get that abortion, this is all ur fault." I couldnt believe that he was blaming me for his screw up & she was lyin on me just 2 try 2 tear us apart. He slept on the couch, me & the baby in the room..in the morning he woke up & he was throwin up & all quiet so I assumed maybe he's sick. Later that day I called Keisha, I said, "are u ok?" she said, "yea,why?" I said, "didnt u have that abortion 2day, she said," Oh yea, Im good." I knew then that something here just aint right. So, as the weeks & months rolled by I didnt hear anything else about or from Keisha until 1 day Josh came home & he said that he had seen Keisha & confronted her about the abortion papers, he said he asked for a reciept or paperwork from her even being pregnant in the 1st place because he believed it was all a lie. Come 2 find out it was! With my stupid self, I felt bad for him that she played him like that but at the same time he DESERVED it! Things started 2 look up, Minister Josh was trying 2 act better, now dont get me wrong, he was so much fun 2 be around, very smart & had lots of things 2 tlk about all the time but he was a *****! I guess being on the right path was old for him, I found out about more & more women, he even had a std from 1 of them...the baby was growing up & I was getting bigger...we moved maybe 3 more times since then, him cheating became the norm as sad as that sounds. Women were calling me, sending me messages on myspace it was awful. Well, in our new place 5 yrs later I was cooking some quesadillas (if thats how u spell it) & I went 2 lay dwn after I ate but I was feelin really sick & I was thinkin I over did it on the cheese & stuff. So in the middle of the night I had 2 go 2 the bathroom & when I got done there was ALOT of blood but it was from my stool...so of course I was scared & I went 2 the doctor the next day...she said let me run some test, it will take a few days 2 get the results but let me give u some anti inflammatories for ur stomach. Cool, got my prescription & we left. A few days went by & I got a call from the doctor who said, Mrs. White, dont take that medicine that gave u becuase u're pregnant!" TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!
SHBROW4134's Blog
 

I AM SOOO CONFUSED

Hello, I am so new to this but a friend told me about Dr. Fernando Garcia and then I came on here and saw reviews on Dr. Kelly. I have no clue as to which Doctor to go with. I want someone who is part of the Bariatric Association. I am so nervous because I dont want to go with someone who isnt good. I want a doctor where I will be at an hospital and someone who will constantly stay in contact with me and that wont charge any fees for my fiancee. Any help or ideas or stories to share that will help me?
Gastric Sleeve Surgery - An Unexpected Journey
 

3 Weeks Pre Surgery

******************************************************************************************************************* Update:5/23/2013 Man, reading these old blog entries is strange. It's only been 5 months and I'd forgotten almost everything that happened pre-surgery.   After these few months post-op, it just seems that I've "always" been living this way and my previous lifestyle never happened. I feel like I've "always" eaten such small portions and could walk away from food. I've "always" gotten out and walked around. I've "always" had a positive attitude and energy.   Anyone else feel this way?   *******************************************************************************************************************   Being my first blog entry, I plan on keeping it short and sweet. I'm about 3 weeks pre surgery. Had my psych eval, NUT counciling, chest x-ray, liver/kidney ultarsound, blood work and EDG. I am going in this Sat. for the pre-surgery diet counciling.   Expected surgery date is 12/27/2012. I am on the "fast track" for surgery. Got the insurance approval in just 2 weeks.   So far my out of pocket expences have been about $3000.00, that includes the doctor's office visit and tests at the hospital and gas going back and forth (my docotor and hospital are 2 hours away.)
joatsaint

joatsaint

2
marnimae's Blog
 

1 week post op, OMG, what a trip!!

So last Thursday, May 16th I had my long awaited surgery . It has now been a week of recovery, and shakes and learning and whining . Yes, whining, I am going to be totally blunt and honest here. On the 15th I freaked out b/c I was expected to have morning surgery on the 16th, well I found out I would have to wait till 3:30 p.m. I freaked, all plans thrown to the wind, the babysitter, hubby's work sched. My mum & dad helping out, and on top of the needless endless pain of hunger, b/c clear liquids the night before, and are you serious, make me wait another whole day w/o even jelllo or water?? I was freaking out, I felt these ppl were crazy, sadistic and cruel, hadn't I jumped through enough hoops for a whole year?? Needless to say, after some soothing talk from my hubby, (let's face it, after 39 hours of no real food, you can be a irrational crazy hideous cranky hating ppl monster ) that it will be fine, we came this far and we will get this done and never look back. So we did, the nurses were fantastic, I got wisked in, changed in to a baer warmer johnnie, quite pleasant and kept me warm, and soon enough, urine test, vitals, hooked up to my iv and meds given, paid copay etc... boom. It flew, I put on my lovely head cover and was brought into the er, I scooted my butt onto the other operation table and slid over and a nurse put a mask on my face and asked me to breathe. Whallah, that was it, out like a light. I woke up in a grog but not a fog. My nurse Debbie was fantastic, she talked to me, and checked on me, and I was surprised that I was not nauseaus at all, which made me sooo relieved. I have had 3 prev surguries, 2 c-sections, and one gallbladder and the nausea was horrible from the anesthesia. She was amazed that I was smiling, I said, I have waited for this a long time. After what was about 45 minutes I was brought into another room and saw my hubby. My tummy I did check out as soon as I got a sec alone, and it didn't feel so bad, but I was on some good drugs I guess, lol. After another hour of observations and care, I was cleared to go home. My hubby already had gotten my prescriptions filled, pain relief pills and something to help me move my bowels b/c of the pain meds block you up. Now let me say the first day I was oblivious so I just rested. I didn't feel hunger so it was a relief, though I sipped from my little med cup, at prompting from my hubby and Mum. I did sit up, but kept falling asleep, so as soon as 6 pm came I went to bed. Now let me say, I highly recommend a pillow shopping spree. Get yourself a body pillow and two or three new pillows, heck grab some funky pillowcases too, this helps with comfort and for those dang gas pains from surgery. I HATED those pains, as soon as I lay down they hit. I learned to sleep with them tucked under each side b/c side sleeping was not a option. Hubs was helpful to stack a backrest pillow (sit up pillow w/ armrests?) with two more pillows so I could sit up and watch tv w/ the kids in bed or just sit up but have my feet up. It was comfy and everytime I had to get up I just hugged my pillow and it helped with the pain. About this time I started to be aware of the state of my body. I had a huge bruise on my right arm I assume from the shots given, and on my same arm, I had long red lines from the blood pressure cuffs. I still had not seen my staples as of yet, but I assumed from my prev surgury from gallbladder they would probably be the same. I started to feel the tenderness of the top of my mouth and throat, and some pain inside my lower right lip, probably from being intebated? I was amazed that I didn't feel this till now. By Saturday I started to feel hunger, my gas pains were fading, and when I ate, I filled up quickly and I was getting the hang of my shakes and sugar free pops and Fruit2o water. Though I do not like the taste of the chewable vitamins (yuck!) or calcium citrate, I break it up, one with each breakfast, lunch, dinner so I don't forget. I look forward to my fat free greek plain yogurt, I mix some sugar free hawaiin punch drink mix in it (grape) and it is yummy. As for the cottage cheese, I tried, I can't do it , I didn't like it before or now. I like the protien shake mix, and I like boost and atkins and pure protein shakes. At lunch my favorite thing is mixing a strawberry atkins shake w/ crushed ice and a red sugar free popsicle, I do add some whey to it too. It smells and tastes amazing. The soups help me feel normal like I am eating something, as for jello, I do have it but I am on burnout mode for that. Though I did try to ambrosia it w/ some of my greek yogurt mix, and it wasn't bad, but not great either!! Now my incisions are healing well, but Sunday was my wall. I was having incredible pain, it burned and felt like a tearing pain . I called first thing monday, and they checked me out and said this was normal to take my pain meds and relax. The belly button area is tender but below my biggest incision is the burning pain, it is awful, I take one pill, b/c two makes me totally sleep and out. I am moving about easier and walking is a cinch, stairs easy too. But having 2 kids, it is hard. I tell myself to knock it off, and my hubby is wonderful about helping but I feel bad when my 3 yr old wants to sit on my lap and I can't. But it won't be for long and I know it. I will tell you, I feel like a old fuddy duddy and why??? B/c I get happy when I have a bm, yes a bm . I had my first little poo on Sunday and I was so happy, and later that night I passed gas and let me tell you, the feeling was relief, it felt amazzzing . Passing gas is wonderful, b/c your body feels so much better afterwards . I say this b/c it is what it is. Now the hiccups I get are weird, but I can't explain why but they just are, I noticed these Tuesday, I'd rather not hiccup. So this is it so far. Now I have to get some Mederma to be ready to slap this stuff on when I get these itchy staples off, the scar is going to be much bigger than I thought, I am quite shocked and wish I had been shown some pictures of the scars before the surgery b/c it did make me sad, it is little to complain about but I just didn't know how big me scar would be on my left side, I mean wowsa.
marnimae

marnimae

5
Mission Slimpossible
 

Our journey never ends....

It's been a while since I last logged on. Many of you may recall my dad had colon cancer that back in Dec spread to his lungs. He had been doing pretty well, kicking it's butt for 2+ years, and at 87, it was quite impressive. All I will say is that, as we were told, it happened rather quickly. He was fine then suddenly he wasn't. It didn't take but a few days. It is with a heavy heart that I must share that my dad passed away on Wednesday, May 8th at 7:20am. I'm happy to say that he was there for my first breathe and I was there for his last. And so, our journey continues. He is at peace, and we must move on....
Domika03

Domika03

4
Pret-Op Process & Struggles
 

Almost there!

So, I was told by my nutritionist that I needed to come to my next appointment with the vitamins that I will take after surgery as well as what protein I will be using. She wants to make sure I have everything lined up and don't have to think about it at the last minute. I am going to take the Bariatric Advantage Complete Multi Formula chewable vitamin. I tried one yesterday. I was scared that I would gag, because anything that I have to chew usually does make me gag but it wasn't bad at all. It didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth and it wasn't as chalky as I thought it would be. To be on the safe side I got the orange flavor, figured I couldn't go wrong with it. For my protein I did the dutch chocolate Isopure...YUCK! I definitely can not drink that stuff. It made me nauseous. So, I'm going to Costco tomorrow and will pick up the premiere protein that everyone has been talking about. I do way better with pre-made shakes than with that powder stuff.   My next appointment is Tuesday...I'm nervous and excited. I'm praying I didn't put on any weight and that I've actually lost a few more pounds. I haven't been on the scale in 2 weeks, so I'm not sure. But I will be asking her what my possibilities are with getting surgery the first week in August. I plan on being off from work for about 5 weeks and that is the perfect time since not much will be going on, also, I didn't want to miss more than 3 classes when school starts back up. So, I'm hoping and praying that she says that an early August surgery date is possible.
SamG

SamG

4
Kime-lou's Blog
 

Coping Skills

Even though I work in computers now with the school system, my college degree was actually Counseling with a concentration in Substance Abuse.   While working at a drug treatment center I worked with patients on developing coping skills to help them deal with cravings to use. We would tell them, they must avoid people, places and things that are triggers; some to the point of having to live some where other than where they came from.   During that time I was in denial that I myself was an addict, but my drug of choice was food. Unfortunatly, I can't avoid food. I must eat, but as I continue on the self reflective journey I have been on of late, I realize that I have food triggers. Cookies- I love them, they are buttery and chewy and oh so good. If I make cookies and eat one, I can't stop- I must eat more. Ice Cream is another problem, I love ice cream, any shape or form- cones, cups, shakes- yum. So I know, no ice cream should be kept in the house because I won't stop until it is all gone.   Now you may say, where is you will power, where is your want power? I do want to lose weight, but there are times where it is like an out of body experience, I realize what I am doing is wrong and I will regret it, but I can't stop- this is classic addict behavior.   If you are able to use your want power to prevent you from ever slipping up- awesome for you- but addicts many times can not rely strictly on that.   I am actully going back and reading some of my old college textbooks to help myself with this addiction. While I have lost a little more than half of what I want to lose, in order for me to lose more and here is the key- keep it off- I must figure out my triggers and develop coping skills for dealing with these.   Is this journey easy- heck no! Will it be worth it- heck yes. But, I feel I will be much more successful long term now that I am looking at this for what it is! Just like drug, tobacco, alcohol addiction is a life long battle- so is food addiction.   For those of you who what I am saying rings true, take a look at yourself- what are your triggers- what can you do to cope with them.   So with that- Hello, my name is Kim and I am a foodaholic.
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

4
LadyDiva618's Blog
 

I have a toothache on day one of week 4!!!!

Talk about irony! A toothache really!!! I have no idea how I got a toothache. Could it be the way I am sleeping? I know its not food? I wonder what happened? Anyway how is everyone day today? Today I did not wake up hungry I took my multivitamin and grab my 16 oz. bottle water and I was on my way to work. I even luck out and found a close parking spot to my job. I know what you are thinking I should park far and I normally do but it looked like it was about to rain and we all know that sugar melts! I grab my second bottle of water and went into my office and my coworkers congratulated me on my first day of week 4. I call it my treat is meat! LOL Anyway for breakfast I had 1 hardboiled eggs and the Buddig Chicken deli meat that was 150 calories and 15 grams of protein. I was actually full until 130pm I was really not hungry but I thought I needed to eat something so I had a tuna salad with 5 saltine crackers. That was 200 calories and 20 grams of protein. I had a hard time eating lunch because of my toothache so I took my time. It’s 8:05pm and I am not hungry. I put on orajel on the pain and its not working. Maybe the pain is keeping me full or maybe I am just not hungry. I am still trying to get familiar with my Band. This is the first relationship I had when I taking things slow! Anyway I am going to try to get a quick workout in.   Thanks for reading.
LadyDiva618

LadyDiva618

2
MaggieGT's Blog
 

Finally got my port flip surgery

Hello Fellow Banders,   I commented on my flipped port a year ago. The good news is that I got serious on my diet and exercise and lost 25#,   Even better news, a new doctor moved to my town. I had put off getting my port fixed because I didn't want to go to mexico again and I couldn't find a local doctor to fix it and then do the fills.   I love my new doctor :-).   He replaced my port today and removed the scar tissue from my ugly looking original surgery scars.   I guess nothing worth doing is easy though. ,,,,   Things didn't go as planned.   1.The taxi couldn't find my house, so he was 20 minutes late. But he showed me a cool short cut and still got me there only 5 minutes late.   2.The doctor got delayed with something else and so my surgery started an hour later than planned. But the time gave me time to pray and I sang to myself Amazing Love a bunch. I felt very close to God by the time I went into surgery.   3. We were just doing a local and flipping the port. So it was kinda cool to be awake and be aware of the surgery.   4. Just when I thought he was about done, he showed me the port and said it needed replacing. So they had to put me under. But the next thing I know, I'm waking up in recovery feeling good and my wonderful Son-in-Law is there to take care of me.       So each setback seemed to be offset with a gift,          God is always showing me his love.   Good Journey All, MaggieGT   Amazing Love :-)   I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken I'm accepted, you were condemned I'm alive and well Your spirit is within me Because you died and rose again   Chorus:   Amazing Love How can it be That you my King Would die for me Amazing Love I know it's true It's my joy to honor You In all I do I honor you   Coda:   You are my King Jesus, You are my King You are my King Jesus, You are my King     **************************************************************************        
MaggieGT

MaggieGT

0
RACAL's Blog
 

Emotional Eating...

Does anyone on this Blog come from the Andover,Ma.area? I need to find a support group fast. I am only 4 months in and already using food as an emotional crutch to some hard times. The scary thing is that It actually hurts to eat certain foods and yet I am anyway. If this is not a sign that I need help,I do not know what is. So if anyone knows of any place I can go to talk to other People who are going through what I am..I would really appreciate it. The place I got the Surgery only meets once a Month and not at a convenient time for me.
RACAL

RACAL

3
HappyCat's Blog
 

Two Weeks Post Op

Ok, so I am two weeks and one day into my new sleeved life. I am feeling great in general and am so glad to be moving forward. I haven't posted anything much until now as it has been enough of a challenge getting fluids in and doing my best with the protein intake. I was so looking forward to the puréed stage of the diet and wanted to start getting protein in other forms besides the shakes, but I am still having a hard time even getting an ounce of puréed anything down. I feel full on so little - and although I enjoy the taste of the soups (blended) and thinned mashed potatoes with puréed chicken, I know when the stopping point has to be. So, I have returned to the land of the shakes! In order to increase the protein and making the shakes more palatable, I mix Lucerne protein fortified fat-free milk with one-third of a protein shake every morning and every evening. That wayI can experiment with other puréed foods during the day. I don't mind taking the next six weeks slowly   My doctor gave me the go ahead to hit the treadmill and elliptical machines at the gym, so that is the goal for this week. I don't have an excess of energy (did a few things around the house and pooped out over the weekend) so plan to take baby steps so I don't collapse. I do make the rounds in the hallways of my apartment complex and went down four flights of stairs last night to check the mail (elevator back up).   Good things are that I am down to 215 and can see my clothes are fitting loosely already. Also, weirdly, I used to be a big time snorer and have not snored since the surgery. I am sure that is why I am sleeping more soundly at night. What an unexpected blessing! I also met a couple of old friends I hadn't seen in years: my ankle bones!   I travel a lot with my job in the spring and fall, so I look forward to fitting in an airplane seat without having to ask for a seatbelt extension Last year, I actually delayed a puddle jumper flight because they ran out of seatbelt extensions (flight full of husky oil and gas workers took all the available supply!). I was mortified when they made the delay announcement - never again!   So this entry is a bit of positive musing ~ I am happy with my decision to take this leap of faith to change my life and get healthy. If you asked me last week if it was the righ decision for me, I would have had to think about it... But, today I can unequivocally say YES!    
HappyCat

HappyCat

6
zempress' Blog
 

Crazy Hungry n not feeling full...? Anyone?

Yesterday, I was stark raving mad with hunger. I could not stop eating. Has this happened to anyone else? I actually bought a salad from outback steakhouse at lunch assuming I would only be able to eat a couple of pieces of lettuce or cucumber. I was completely wrong-- I scarfed the entire thing With no feeling of restriction. I do not understand how this works. I do not understand how I can eat an entire salad-- a house salad-- and not be full!! By the end of the day I just gave up and consumed over 2500 cal. On a normal day I eat between 850 to 1000 calories with low-carb and high-protein as my focus. Today, I do not feel particularly hungry, and I feel restricted. How is this possible? Has anyone else experienced the same thing? I would love to hear your feedback. Thank you.    
zempress

zempress

7
Momonanomo's Blog
 

the adventure begins....

It's surgery day- i've got about 4 hours to go. My goodness time went fast! I am so incredibly ready. I don't really feel nervous at this point, just ready. My strong steady husband was pretty emotional last night. I love him so much and am so grateful for him! Today is all smiles and positive thinking. My dad has been even more quiet than usual so i think he is worried. I try to reassure him. My mom is excited for me and proud of me. I have great support. Don't really know what else to say at this point. It is difficult to type on this tablet anyway. i can say i am hungry - clear liquid only yesterday & NOTHING today. Not even water but, all for good reason, right?!? I really am curious how this will all unfold, and i have to admit that i actually do see this as a big adventure. So, let the adventure begin!
Momonanomo

Momonanomo

2
Amberlydw8's Blog
 

10 Week Update...

Hey all...   Wow time has really flown by! I can't believe how long it has been since i have updated my little blog here. I am sorry I have been so busy and distracted.   Well for my numbers! I am 10 weeks out and have lost 62lb! I have gone from a 47BMI to a 37BMI. I am very happy with my results. I don't think I would call my self a supper fast looser, but I am keeping it steady. Other thank a 3 weeks stall somewhere in the middle, I have been loosing about 3lb a week. That I can live with I have gone from a size 22/2X to a size 18/XL I am so happy! And everyone is really starting to notice the changes. I think that is one of the most encouraging things...   I have also begun to really like exercise! I have started going to Zumba once or twice a week depending on my schedule... I just love it! For all of you girls out there who hate exercise but love to dance, this is for you! The friends you make at these classes are supper awesome! They keep you motivated, and wanting to come back. Its like a little support group all its own. At least that is how mine is, I really hope they are all like that...   I know My Fitness Pall is my life saver and best friend lately... All of my friends who are on there supporting me every day are just wonderful! Thanks so much! You keep me going! If any of you want to follow me or need a little extra support of your own you can friend me on MFP my screen name is the same. amberlydw8   I have some new NSV's over the past few weeks... I can cross my legs!!! It has been forever since I have been able to cross my legs! Awesome!
I can run for and not feel like I am going to die! (not very far, but its so much better than before!)
My knees, feet and back don't hurt anymore!
I don't feel like the "fat girl" in the room anymore! I know I have a ways to go yet, but its amazing the change in my confidence levels...
I can walk miles with out getting tired!
I have a waist line! Its awesome!
Well, That is what I got so far... Everyone keep up the good work... Let me know if you have any questions I am an open book or if any NSV's of your own you want to share!
Amberlydw8

Amberlydw8

5
NeverBeTheSameAgain's Blog
 

MY 521lb LIFE

Where do I begin? I have always been on the heavy side, even as a kid. When I was in grade school all the way 2 college I found out just how cruel ppl can be. I was always the pretty fat girl & that bothered me, so I transformed myself into sombdy I wasn't. I would tell jokes about myself b4 anybody got the chance 2 & I was mean/confrontational. Ppl were scared 2 say something about me & if they did they didnt say it so I could here it or else! They had no idea that I really would cry if they tlked 2 loud 2 me but I didnt care..I was good at it. At graduation, which is supposed 2 be the happiest time of ur life, when I walked across the stage this boy said "now thats a big girl"..I died inside but I slapped the hell outta him infornt of EVERYBODY even his guest at the ceremony. Time went on & I met a guy, we begin 2 date while I was in college & I was SO in love with him because he gave me the attention I NEVER had. I started slacking in school & 1 day while I was home for the weekend, I told my cousin that I had missed my cycle, so we went 2 buy a test & the results were positive...omg, I thought my mother was going 2 kill me. Clearly she didnt because I'm typing this blog...lol but during that pregnancy I gained 80lbs, they labeled me as high risk & I had to have a c-section. While I was being preped the doctor told me u dont need 2 have any more kids because you are too big. Who the hell tells sombdy that while they're about 2 have a baby? I felt so bad, like I didnt deserve 2 have my baby but anyway 1/24/03 at 11:36 am, I had a healthy baby boy. Ok, so now I'm home from the hosp & my kids dad, is staying out all night & sleeping all day...so I had 2 do everything on my own, with a wound from the c-section. Time went on & then I dropped out of school because I couldnt depend on his father 2 work because he was still doing the same old stuff...but I realize that the more he did nothing the more I ate. When my son turned 11 months stupidly I married his dad. The 2nd week in our own place, I realized that he was starting 2 act strange so lke every women, I began 2 investigate him lol. Weeks went by & we got our 1st phone bill and I seen a # on it i didnt recognize, so I called it...a woman answer & said "hey baby", I said "excuse me" & she hung up..so now I knew it was something going on. I confronted him & he said it was nothing & I was crazy. I could remember going in2 the kitchen cooking a BIG dinner, he thought I was trying 2 poison him but I just wanted 2 eat something. I was out of control of the things going on around me but the 1 thing that I COULD control was what I ate. Over the next several years, it was woman after woman & because " I LOVED HIM" I stayed with him & I just ate & ate. One year, we had moved in2 a new place & he got a job doing security, he loved it! I was so happy because he wasnt working the entire marriage, my family & I were pulling the load. Well one night he got up & left for work...dressed, he had a lunch & was goin 2 be on time. Well around 9 oclock, I called him & there was no answer...so I waited a while & called again, still no answer..so I went 2 sleep. When he got home the next morning I asked him what happened & he said he was tired & went to bed. I looked thru his phone & saw he was txting a girl that he apparently just met because it was begining stuff, so I wake him up, confronted him & he said "Im a grown man I do what I want 2". I started crying & left the room only 2 go make me & my baby a BIG bowl of ice cream, so I could try 2 make myself feel better. A few months went by, he lost his job becuase he stopped going, & he was dropping me off at work every morning and taking the baby 2 school, so I thought things were getting better...until I get a private phone call from a girl named Keisha. She asked me who I was because my name was in her man's phone. TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MszShaye's Blog
 

3 month plateau.....no weight gain or loss

I really need help. i have gone back to the dietician, spoke with the doctor, and even went to my regular doctor for some assistance. The weight still has not budged. They said add more protein so i did that. More aerobics ...still no change..kept a food diary..nothing. I have now went into a slump, I am eating as the dietician has required and i am now getting deressed because i am not moving forward. 3 months is a lonnnnnngggg PLATEAU. Does anyone have any suggsetions. i have had 8 fills in 9 months . Every month since the surgery. I have Prayed and cried ..and feel helpless.
MszShaye

MszShaye

2
Kime-lou's Blog
 

Open your eyes......

I am still on my learning journey and getting back on track after gaining 3 lbs. This may not sound like much to you, but I know that 3 ends up as 6, which will end up as 12 if I don't nip it in the bud now.   When I left work yesterday I headed for my weekly grocery trip. I had my list and my meal plan. Got very little processed stuff, mostly meat and veggies, and the fur kid food. Came home, unload and unpacked and put everything up. I started our dinner - we had chicken alfredo (totally homemade using spagetti squash and my from scratch low fat/cal sauce with lots of veggies). I went and weeded my garden while waiting for the hubs to get home (I got baby squash and cucumbers). Once he got home, we ate (left overs galore- we both ate and we both have lunch for today and I have enough for tomorrow to). I did dishes and then headed out to cut the grass. We have a .25 acre yard and I push mow it. After finishing that I put down my fire ant treatment being that I was attacked. Then in the house to set up the next days "stuff", shower and spends some time with the hubs. So as you see my afternoon was full, this is a normal day in my life- I am pretty much moving and doing something all day except when I have to sit at my desk at work.   After the busy day, I settled down with the hubs to watch a little TV. I was already 9. After a few min of laying there in the chaise lounge I started thinking oh, I need a snack. I deserve it, after all I push mowed the lawn. Then the little voice came from deep inside that ask, are you really hungry? The answer was honestly NO- head hunger was creeping in. I squashed that real quick- got a bottle of water and sucked it down hung out with the hubs and my fur babies for a while longer before hitting the sheets.   The point to all of this is, it doesn't matter how long post op you are, how long you have done things right, or how committed you are- things will always pop up to make us want to eat. We have a problem- we want more food than we need. The only way for me to lose weight and keep it off is to recongnize these problem times and areas, face them and squash them.   Normally, I would go in for a fill, I haven't had one since Feb. However, I know I still get stuck a lot so I am not sure a fill is the best route for me right now. I will go in next month for my 1 year follow up and let them check it then, if the doc says it's time for another fill, then we will do it, because he is the expert. While a fill might help me deal with these things, at some point I must face the demons of my eating problems and lean to cope.   I encourage everyone no matter where you are along this journey to keep your eyes open and be on the watch for these little demons to creep in. They will, for some more than others, but if we keep our eyes open and are mindful of them we will beat them and come out on top.   When I was working in a drug treatment center, I often times talked to my patients about developing coping skills. Things to do when they were craving their drug of choice, well I must do the same thing when I am craving or wanting food when I don't need it.   Maybe I am slow on the take off, maybe I wasn't 100% ready when I had surgery. But, I am waking up from a fog and realizing I have a problem with food and I must deal with it now before it gets me. I have a tool to help me with this, it is up to me to use it and to develop other tools to deal with my addiction.
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

2
newmeIowa's Blog
 

And it begins

After 7.5 months of classes, appointments, procedures and WAITING it's finally here! I started the liquid diet yesterday. So far so good; only a little hungry twice in the day. I reread all the materials to get more mentally 'in the game' and pre-made my breakfast and lunch for today again. I'm feeling positive and strong.   Of course there was a big celebration in the teacher's lounge this morning with every kind of awesome food ever created - on this, my second day of the liquid diet. I didn't go in. I'll eat lunch in my room to avoid it. Why tempt myself? Why torture myself? Just walk away.   June 4 surgery day is 13 days away and I'm beginning to wonder what I'll feel like post-op. I've read lots of blogs and materials about possible recovery processes. Just hoping that I have less nausea than some have had in the past.   My four boys and husband have been great, but now they are 'getting it' that their world will be changing as well since I'm the only cook in the house. My 13 year old asked me 'but what am I going to eat?' I smiled sweetly and told him he'd have to make himself a sandwich. OH THE HORROR!   Going shopping today for more protein powder. Still haven't found one that I like, but is that even realistic to think I'll find a powder that is palatable.   Basically, I'm just pumped up that I've really STARTED the journey towards being healthier. Now to post my pre-op pictures! UGH!
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

6
kulita's Random but cool things
 

Art in it's truest form

This video has nothing to do with any bariatric surgery. I loved this clip so much that I had to share it with everyone I know. Have you ever seen TRUE ART? This video clip shows the act of creating TRUE ART.   The performance of life is emotional, lovely, breathtaking, and original. It is only a few minutes long so please take a tiny amount of time out of your day to watch this masterpieces come together.   https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=513762012004599
kulita

kulita

0
mom2phoenix's Blog
 

3 weeks post op

Today is my 3 weeks out of surgery! Loving it! I am now on pureed foods (which isn't so bad)...sometimes things upset my stomach even though they didn't at first. Its going to have to be process of elimination on what I can and cannot eat. The only other issue I am having is I am soooo thirsty I feel like I can never drink enough WHICH to me is worse than feeling hungry LOL. Other than those two things I am extremely motivated and energetic. I'm down 20+ lbs. I personally DO NOT see a change BUT everyone tells me how good I look and my clothes do fit loose compared to what they were before surgery. I'm actually down 1 shirt size and 1 pant size (however I'm still wearing clothes from before my surgery).
mom2phoenix

mom2phoenix

3
My story
 

My 5 year old broke my heart and my decision is made... I AM HAVING SURGERY!

I've finally completed all of my insurance req's and am now awaiting approval. Since I've completed my requirements I guess this entire process has become really 'real' to me and it scared me. I kept asking myself if I really NEEDED this surgery...why couldn't I lose wieght on my own? Am I being lazy and taking the easy way out? Is it worth putting myself under the knife and having major surgery when I'm already too lazy to eat right and exercise? Am I wasting my family's money by having surgery? etc, etc, etc. Well tonight my sweet 5 year old ittle girl innocently made a statement that first broke my heart and then made me realize without a doubt this surgery is the right thing for me. We were driving home and she asked what would happen if I started to drown (We have a pool and swim a lot. I used to teach swim lessons and water safety, so water safety is REALLY important to me). I said, "Well, if I was truly drowning and couldn't get out, hopefully someone would help me out of the water." She replied (Here's where my heart broke...) "But Mommy, you're so big. How would they be able to pull you out? You're too heavy." And THEN she tried to backtrack...that broke my heart even more. She shouldn't have to worry about what she says to me and if it hurts my feelings. She shouldn't have to try to change what she said to make me feel better - - she's FIVE! AND THAT DID IT FOLKS. I almost broke down in tears right there in my car. I can hide from cameras, I can hide from the mirror. I can ignore the fact that my clothes are too tight I can hardly zip my pants. I can look past my double chin. I can choose to not look at my stretch marks. I can ignore being breathless just from walking from my car to my house. I can not pay attention to the fact that I now have to undo my top button to my jeans when sitting at my desk because it is digging in to my stomach. I can pop another blood pressure pill and ignore my high blood pressure... But I cannot ignore the fact that my kids notice I'm overweight and that kills me. I guess up until then I knew I was wayyyyy too heavy but since no one else would address it I could go on my merry-way and ignore it. But there's no ignoring it anymore. I have to do something more powerful than myself so that I can stop living a hollow life and stop living in the shadows, hoping no one addresses the fact that I am unhealthy. The heck with the fact that I am so unattractive anymore, I am unhealthy and am not the role model that my kids deserve. So I'm having this surgery. I don't care how it happens, I need this surgery. I need to lose weight. I need to get healthy. I need to start caring about myself. I need to start caring about my family and their future - - with ME in it.
lyndeeboo

lyndeeboo

14
A Long Road To Happiness
 

Day 1 Post Op

So far, so good. Met with my surgeon again today and he said the surgery went great. he said there were no complications with my surgery and that everything went fine. I feel very fortunate and excited to see what's next. there's been a lot of abdominal pain but the meds they have been giving me are helping a lot. I can't wait until I can drink some water, i'm very thirsty and ice chips just aren't doing it for me. also, can't wait to go home!
ChrissyVon

ChrissyVon

0

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