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A Star Is (re)Born
 

1st Post-Op Appointment

Today was my first post-op appointment. I had my staples removed and I discussed with the nutritionist and the nurse what I have been doing since surgery (i.e. fluids, exercise, protein, vitamins). The staple removal didn't hurt at all and I wasn't expecting it to because I've had staples removed before. So far I'm averaging about 55 ounces of fluid and 70 grams of protein a day. The nutritionist told me to work on increasing my fluid intake and that my protein is good. Tomorrow I can start on puree/soft foods. I can eat cottage cheese, non-fat refried beans, tuna, etc. If anyone has any ideas/tips about the food during this stage please let me know.   Height: 5'6" Starting weight: 296 Surgery weight: 281 Current weight: 270 (13 days after surgery) Goal weight: 200 (maybe 180)
starzee78

starzee78

2
ladybabie3's Blog
 

Proud

First I want to say that I'm so proud of myself with sticking with this life style change. Now don't get me wrong I have had mistakes along they way. But I realized when I fell off and got back on track. With that being said I'm weighing in at 202. I need you to understand I haven't seen this number in years. And what this tells me is I am my own success. I can do this. And If nobody has told you today I'm proud of you. :wub:
ladybabie3

ladybabie3

5
ajtexas's Blog
 

My Barrier

I have thought about writing this blog all day long. Part of me says don’t write it, you are a success and you don’t want people thinking you slip up and fail. The other part of me says write this, maybe this will tell others that this journey is not easy and even after reaching goal & being declared a success you still struggle…   ‘The other part’ won, so here goes….   I have always been called strong, never showing my weakness or emotions. It is a skill I learned early in life, build a protective barrier around you so no one can know how you feel or hurt you. The way I coped with this barrier was with food, it got me to 250 pounds…. When I started my weight loss journey I recognized this habit. That being said doesn’t mean that the habit went away or that it doesn’t get the best of me still. Over the last couple of weeks I have experienced events in my life that caused me to retreat to my protected barrier and to comfort myself with junk food (ice cream, etc…).   Now, those closest to me know me well enough to see through the barrier and last night my husband did just that. He asked what was going on and I caved, I told him everything that was causing my stress, my work, my friends, and the whole lot. I had a good cry and we talked about how I could try and cope with things. I also confessed the eating that I had done and do you know what he did? He said, “Well trash is picked up tomorrow morning” and went into the kitchen, threw away all the trigger foods that I had mentioned. When he came back in he said to me, “You are worth so much more than any of that junk food. From now on there will be no junk in this house.” God, I love this man. I am so lucky to have such great family support.   Then, this morning one of my most dear friends asked me what was up. And again I caved and told her everything. Know what she said? “Done now….back on track” and then she said, “It is what it is; pull up those panties, put on those heels and work it!” Thanks princess, I needed to hear that. I am so lucky to have such great friends supporting me.   I know I can do this and I will do this for the rest of my life. I will have days and times where I stumble and fall. But, I will get myself up, brush myself off and keep going. Because I WANT this!   I guess what I am trying to say is that even the success stories (the veterans) make mistakes, have bad days, and go backwards. The important thing is to identify the problem and find a solution. Then get your ass back on track.   Thant is exactly what I am doing.
♕ajtexas♕

♕ajtexas♕

9
bayougirlmrsc's Blog
 

Wow..

Wow you come here trying too help and give people advice and the crap all over you. I know I have been harsh. I know my faults but I try and be respectful. But good lord.
BayougirlMrsS

BayougirlMrsS

4
momofjal's Blog
 

day one at home after surgery

I have been doing very well. I love my doctor for sending me home with liquid pain meds and a pain pump. I feel that I have been eating all day! I have had around 20ozs of water, 2 sf popsicles, 1 fudgesicle, broth, and some jello. I ate a the popsicles and the fudgesicle. A little bit of the broth and jello. I have not gotten sick and hope I don't! I also have not felt full yet either! Will give an update later in the week. Carla
momofjal

momofjal

2
cheeze82's Blog
 

feeling down

On Monday June 3rd I had the scope down. and my surgery was set for June 17th. My Dr informed me that he found 50 plus ulcers in my stomach so now I have to take some medicine to get the ulcers cleared up and im rescheduled for another scope on June 24th then my new surgery date is July 1st. So I am praying that the ulcers are gone so that i can have the surgery done. Feeling a little overwhelmed and kinda stressed out! anyone know of any ways to get rid of ulcers? Im taken my meds but hoping there are some foods or something that will also help! So i can make sure these are gone!
cheeze82

cheeze82

3
pink grace's Blog
 

I have my sleeve

Have my sleeve, praise the Lord, I had my op on 30th may and am so happy. I am 15lb down sjnce the start of the liver shrinking diet and am jn size 24-26 pjs. Tender and tired but doing good, im on free fluids until i see my dietcian and nurse next tuesday, i did so well i was allowed home a day early, all answers to prayers, xx:)
pink grace

pink grace

5
I will do this
 

On the throne of self-pity

So tomorrow is my 7 year Bandiversary - Unbelievable! I feel good in that I have maintained a 100 pound weight loss from my pre-surgery weight. However - I am still up 40 pounds from my lowest weight.   It is so easy to lose focus and get lazy. I'm really quite insistent on having things the way I want them - even if it contradicts my ultimate goal. I'm one of those people who has always been fat - I remember wanting to be thinner in second grade. As long as I can remember, I have had an ultimate goal of being thin. (And I don't define thin by magazine standards - just want to be "normal size"). After I got my band, I was ecstatic! I did not know how to defeat it yet, so I lost weight almost effortlessly, it seemed. I actually got there! For a brief shining moment, I felt like I was where I wanted to be. I was still about 20 pounds over what the BMI charts said my "ideal weight" was, but I was happy with it.   Then I got cocky and decided I could do what I wanted - and I did.   So now I have come full circle - staring myself squarely in the eye and forcing myself to take responsibility for all of it. The truth is, I can't eat what I want and be the size I want to be. I have to chose one or the other. I must exercise, even though I don't enjoy it and it's always work. Nope - not fair. Doesn't matter whether it's fair or not. Those are the facts. I have spent the vast majority of my life wishing for (and pretending I had) a different reality. I slam my head into that brick wall over and over and over, and come away each time with nothing but a sore head. That wall - reality - never budges! Reality does not care about my preferences.   So it's time to stop sniveling and live life on life's terms. I have been blessed beyond measure and certainly more than I deserve. I had a wonderful childhood and healthy family. I never experienced abuse or neglect. Although we were certainly not rolling in money, I had everything I needed. I have never really experienced any kind of trauma or tragedy. I have achieved most of my career goals and have a wonderful husband and family. In the grand scheme of things, when all is put into perspective - I'm quite the spoiled brat. With all I've been given (including the tool to achieve the one thing I don't have) I continue to whine that I actually have to be uncomfortable to get where I want. I behave as though it is unthinkable that I should have to have less than I want (not less than I need, or even none of what I want - just less than all). It's unthinkable that I should have to do something I don't enjoy for 30 whole minutes a day. Poor me!   I am the only one who is responsible for my life. The universe does not "owe" me. I am not "entitled" to have everything I want, just because I want it that way. The rules do apply to me. Perhaps I should focus on being grateful for having been given so much. Gratitude can go a long way in reducing self-pity.   Shelly
srussell8

srussell8

6
Kime-lou's Blog
 

The Little Things....

I spent a while last night researching little things I can do to increase my weight loss with out feeling like I am giving up anything and here are some of the things I found:   - Say no to empty calories (drinks with calories are useless- they do nothing to fill you up and only add to your waist line. If you need flavor in your drinks there are a great deal of water flavor packets you can buy with 0 calories)   - 3 meals a day isn't always the best (I use to think if I stuck to breakfast, lunch, dinner I would be ok- not so much. If you eat a big meal 3 times a day, your metabolims looks like a roller coaster. If you eat small meals- like our 1 cup meals- and add in protein/fiber rich snacks your metabolism keeps trucking along, which helps you burn more calories)   - If you are going to eat a carb, make it complex. (Fruit has carbs, go ahead check behind me, but they also have water, nutrients and fiber. So mix a little fruit in with your protein- like grapes and cheese, blueberries or strawberries in yougurt or oatmeal)   - Moving burns calories. (Any movement will burn calories. Shake your legs while sitting at your desk, walk to a co-workers office rather than calling, park further away from the store, walk to the mail box rather than driving (yep I know people who do this), Shake your grove thing while cooking (the hubs love when I do this), laugh, clean your house, wash your dishes instead of putting them in the dish washer. The point is MOVE.)   -Develop a meal plan for the week. ( This will keep you on track and will help the budget, because you won't buy things that you don't need. Put your plan on the frige- this really does make things easier, when you have a busy life).   -Take Vitamins (Nearly all American Adults have low Vitamin D levels. When mine was just tested it was 19, it should be 50. Your body must have Vit. D to break down fat, I didn't know this, but have found out, this can cause weight loss slow downs. Make sure you are getting your levels check at least yearly and you are supplimenting where needed).   -Spice it up (By adding a little heat from pepper to your meals you can boost your metabolism. This may not be a huge boost, but if you are like me I'll take what I can get. Sprinkle a little chili powder on different foods- spice up chicken.)   -Eat fruits and veggies. (Yes, protein is very important, but a person can not live by protein alone- well they can, but you get my point. It's summer, hit the local farmers market and try veggies. There are thousands of healthy ways to prepare veggies- hit up google. Try new and diffrent fruits and veggies. For a indulgent desert- grill a halfed peach and put on spoon of greek yogurt on top (it is so good!!). Fruits and veggies give you nutrients, help your digestive system, satisfy a sweet tooth, gives you water- so add a fruit of veggie to each meal.) I planted a small garden out back of my house which I go out and weed and water nightly -moving- and I get fresh organic veggies- so double the good for me.   Little things may seem little, but together they add up. I have found over the last year, sometimes it is the little things that can make a big difference.
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

2
DebDUtah's Blog
 

Is obesity a medical condition.....

So here it is only one more visit and my supervised diet will be over, all my lab work and required doctors appointments and tests have been completed. I have to say I have not tried to lose weight during this supervised time (although I have lost a few pounds), but I have not gone wild either with food funerals as I have read others have. I have been swimming, walking and drinking lots of water to get used to it, but I am not dropping weight. I know that it is no surprise to me that I have not lost, but now I am worried that my insurance will deny me. Now I know that they cannot deny me based on my performance during this six month supervised diet, but they could deny me due to medical necessity. Ok this "medical necessity" scares me, as I have no medical condition warranting this surgery, unless obesity is a medical condition. Is obesity a medical condition? I have no co-morbidities, I am one of those lucky (or in this case unlucky) individuals who does not have any co-morbidities or required medication (I don't even take multi-vitamins) that would fast track me to approval. So now, here I sit, so close and scared to death I will not be approved. I guess if I expect the worst and hope for the best that I cannot be disappointed, right? wrong!! I have always be so glad I am "healthy" and now this may be my downfall. My BMI is over 50, yeah I never knew it could go that high either, but it is setting in that I could be denied. I went into this not even thinking that but now basically I have jumped thru every hoop and now my future lies in someone's "opinion and interpretation" of my chart compared to insurance guidelines and coveage. I am so not looking forward to this last leg but am taking it one day at a time.
DebDUtah

DebDUtah

3
HAVING TROUBLE
 

HAVING TROUBLE

I have read this site over and over and I read blogs about every aspect of this journey so you would think I know what to expect?? Today is my first days on liquids, ok I got this right? I have read about everyone and I know its gonna suck and think that I am so prepared. Being that I quit smoking cigarettes not the fake cigarettes my taste buds are on high alert I taste everything . Well I go to my shake today the one that meets the criteria and guess what I cant drink it!! I am 45 years old with a rock solid stomach and this freakin shake took an hour to go down it was just soooo bad. I am panicking it is now 7:30 and I am babysitting another at least trying and the same it just tastes so bad. So now I am supposed to eat 4 of these a day OMG how? Then I figuered I would take a break and move to chicken broth , well it smelled great when I tasted it more gag refluxes like before its low sodium and tastes like cardboard. Well needless to say I m not a chiuld as bad as this post may sound Im frustrated at myself and had to put salt into the saltless chicken broth. At least after the surgery I start with mushy puree foods something to look forward too. OK so today is day one and so far i have had 320 calories how am I supposed to do this . Im so disappointed in myself, and I just needed the 5 minutes to vent.
belladona

belladona

12
Lirri's Blog
 

Soft Food Diet and Post-Op Appointments

Today I had my 2 week post-op appointment. It was originally scheduled for exactly two weeks after my surgery but my surgeon got called out of town and so they bumped it up to today. I'm at 11 days post-op today. My visit with my dietician went well. I was instructed to have a protein-dense diet and stay away from red meat, fruits, vegetables and starches still. I'm looking forward to cooking a fresh halibut dinner tomorrow night. I plan on pan searing the halibut steaks with either a dill cream sauce or with a lemon dill beurre blanc. For the kids and Will I'm going to be serving it over asparagus, though I'll end up just eating the halibut.   I have been going to a local spot to do bar trivia for the past year, essentially as long as Will and I have been together. One of his friends is the quizmaster and our team consists of two of Will's friends and two of my friends. I stopped going to trivia two weeks before my surgery because I knew I was going to have to not go for a given amount of time until I recovered. Then in a fit of feeling sorry for myself, I resigned myself to not going for a few months because I was worried about not being able to eat or drink anything there. I felt like I was just taking advantage of the hospitality of the bar if I didn't go there to eat or drink and just play trivia. I'm still on the fence about whether or not I'm going to go tomorrow night. I told Will I'd think about it.   I'm so excited about moving to soft foods. I plan on having scrambled eggs as breakfast most mornings now. Though I'll probably end up having my Premier Protein chocolate shake when I first wake up at 6 just to make sure I'm getting a good amount of protein in at the beginning of the day. I need to get to the store and get some more Chobani in addition to some string cheese so that I can get used to have them as snacks throughout the day. The current suggested diet is 3 meals a day and 1-2 snacks per day. The snacks on the recommended menu from my dietician are scheduled at 3:30 pm and 8 pm. I'm going to play it by ear and see how I feel in the mornings between 8 and noon. That's a long time for me to go without putting anything in my body now that I'm used to eating every two hours.   I'm feeling very close to normal and every day is progress. I'm having a bit of problems with my attention, however, and that worries me a little. I work in software development and manage a QA team. I worry that if I am not at the top of my game mentally when I return to work it is going to negatively effect my team. I had scheduled with short-term disability to return to work on July 1st, but the first month runs out on June 21. I'm doing so well that I'm sure that I won't get authorized for that extra little bit of time so the 21st is my target date for being completely recovered, both physically and mentally.   On a more personal note, I've started to have sex again. Over the past year it's been hit and miss with either of us being in the mood. But since my surgery my sex drive is through the roof.   All good things.
lirri

lirri

0
Pammers Johnson's Blog
 

Starving and full at the same time?

I'm really struggling today. Frustrated with Hunger pains I'm having. True honest. Tummy Rumblings. I chose this drastic surgery due my issues with hunger pains. Going without meals was a punishment for me growing up. I'm 3 weeks and a day out from surgery and on soft foods still. I've been hungry or full after a few bites today. This sucks! I started my day off with 1/2 c coffee with small amnt milk and spoon sugar. Then a protein drink for 160 cal and 30g protein. Mid morning snack of some egg salad 1/2 cup ?200 cal and 9g protein. Lunch consisted of 4 ritz crackers, and an ounce of Braunschweiger 90 cal 4g protein ....then was hungry hour later and working on another 1/2 cup egg salad. I'm already at 817 calories for the day!! 54g protein. Hoping that after this egg salad is in me, I'll be ok til dinner.
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

5
Kime-lou's Blog
 

Mind Over Matter

I have hit many stumbling blocks of late and admit to falling a few times. I regret this and do not blame my band at all, I blame myself for becoming complacent and just plain out not caring enough.   When I get down and out I tend to get into the "I just don't care" mode- not a good place to be.   I haven't had a fill since Feb and am really feeling it now. I get hungry pretty quick, this lets me know the band does work, which properly used. I go in Thursday to see my surgeron and get a fill- pretty excited. I will be happy to drink protein shakes for a day and have them fill me up.   Last night I did a fridge purge of all the bad stuff that I was falling prey to. I know this is my own fault- not the foods or the bands. I am not as strong as I would like to be when it comes to certain things. I must work on that.   Work is killing me - long hours and a lot of hurry up and wait. Right now I am waiting on several teachers to do their part so I can finish mine. There slowness, makes my days long and irritating.   I woke up this morning and told myself that today was a new day- fresh with no mistakes (A line in Anne of Green Gables- love that movie _) I am going to make this a good day- I have that power. I can do it and I will.   I have said this several times of the last month and still manage to stumble in a few days. However, this time I have taken a few steps to help myself. I am back to my journal and I have made meal plans.   I will not gain this weight back, I will not fail. I will move forward. I will not fall!! It is imbarrishing to faulter as much as I have, but I am not pefect and I have my issues.   There are some bandsteres on here that are the "perfect" patient and don't seem to ever have a problem or struggle with this process, but that isn't me and I have to accept that I am not them. I have to stand up, shake it off and get back on the horse.   I hope that others who read this and have stumbled will join me in getting back on it. I hope that those who stumble find courage and support that they are not alone in the fight. We can do this if we continue fighting, but if we throw our hands up in defeat the fat will win.   My rump is dusty and sore from all the "throws", but I am jumping back on!
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

1
newmeIowa's Blog
 

IT's HERE, it's here, it's FINALLY here!

Today is my sleeve surgery, and I'm surprisingly NOT too nervous. The doctors and whole staff have done a fabulous job informing me of everything, that I feel confident knowing what is about to happen to me.   I lost 2.5 lbs yesterday. UGH - the 'clean you out stuff' is not fun. But now I'm down 12 lbs since the start of the liquid diet and 20 lbs since I began this journey in Oct. of 2012.   My mom and husband are just wonderful and I feel better about the kids' welfare. Silly mommy needs to step back and take care of herself!   I am proud of myself for sticking with the program and making this HUGE change for ME. I feel better about myself already. Now my only concern is my boobs - their race to my waist is quite apparent and I'm thinking losing weight will only fuel their decent! Hmmmmm . . .   The stupid song "I'm so excited" won't get out of my head, but I guess that's a good thing. I can't wait for the new me to meet me on the other side!
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

2
LOSINGLOOSEY's Blog
 

June 2, 2013.....week 2

So many changes in one week to report.........   First, my tentative scheduled sleeve date changed - instead of August 19th, I'm doing it on August 5th - two weeks earlier!! When I start to think that at the end of next month, I have to start the pre-op diet - it just sort of blows my mind!   Today, I went to my regular doctor, so he could write the "Letter of Medical Necessity." He offered these words of hope, which really put my mind at ease: "Ten years ago, I would have never written this letter for you, because it was mostly for the bypass - but, the sleeve surgery has been so perfected and is the least invasive - it is truly safe." Then, he looked at me in the eyes and asked me a question that sort of shook my psyche: "Just how much longer do you think your knees and hips could hold up your weight anyways?" "Not much...." I replied meekly.     So, here's the weekly progress:   June 2, 2013 9 weeks post op - Current weight: 316.8 Goal weight: 172 Height: 5'10"   My weekly diet modifications:   Incorporoate one small, healthy meal in this week.   My weekly behavioral modifications:   Trying to eat dinner, minus the television - needs more work. I really need to try harder to do this...   Pre surgery tasks -   Today - I went to my regular doctor to get the "Letter of Medical Necessity." Tuesday - second appointment with the nutritionist Wednesday - monthly Bariatric Support Group meeting
LOSINGLOOSEY

LOSINGLOOSEY

0
Lauracat's Blog
 

Hard work pepole thats all it was

Don't you just love the douter?? the one who say "it a cheet you would have lost anyways" Gosh pepole to the researcher it not a cheat it hard work.   Okay so i was selected form 1000 to the 25 to the Zumba informal I mean after all no one love Zumba more then me. So here i was being interviewed and she tell me to turn of the carama. And said Do you really think it was zumba and not the band that changed you. You would have loosed just sitting on the couch after all you have a band. I wish it were that easy,   So here my reprocess se " do you research 80 % of all people who have weight loss surgery gain it back. I can eat around my band if i want to my it might recerct me in some ways but in other it gives me a lot of freedom. The band is a tool you get out of it what you put into it. I put every thing i have into it and right when i done i think i have nothing more to give I give it a little more. I did not and will throw in the towel I just use it to wipe up the sweet and keep going. Right when i think I can't give any more to this I always find just a little bit more some were. This is Hard work Hard Hard work .I need to be strong not only physically but mental too. To do what have done changed my life from sitting on a couch to teaching Zumba, Spin, body pump, cross fit The gym i work at I have a waiting list of people who want me to be there trainer so i can do what i did to my self to them. Some day I wish I did not have to work so hard and could sitt on a in an office some were an a coshie chair must be nice huh ? So the answer is it a not a cheat it is detraction demonstration and given it all i got and Just a little more .     So i found my self a good zumba class and let it getaway from me becuse something about the music alway makes me feel better
Lauracat

Lauracat

1
lizrox's Blog
 

Feeling STRONG!

I am a little over a week post-op and I am feeling great. The biggest change I feel is real strength around food. I was hardcore addicted and now my relationship with it feels so much closer to normal.   This weekend my father in law baked homemade cookies while I was visiting. He loves baking and in the past I would have obsessed over them. The smell, then my thoughts would be consumed with "Should I eat one? No, I'm too fat I need to stop...but I deserve one...everyone gets the have them why deprive myself?" Then I would go eat 5 or 6 and send the rest of the night feeling guilty and beat myself up. Certainly no way to live!   This weekend I smelled them an thought...oh that smells good. The end. No obsessing, no guilt...the cookies just rolled off my back. It is just so empowering. This really needs to stay. It freed my mind to think about life, family, the future etc... I am just thrilled I made this decision and need my strength to last.   Things are looking up!
lizrox

lizrox

2
MandyRN15's Blog
 

Surgery Tomorrow

Oh My Goodness...surgery is tomorrow!!! I am so ready to do this, yet I am still craving bread. People at work had to bring in donuts and eat them in front of me. I almost ripped it out of their hands and shoved them in my mouth. But I had restraint. I am ready for this change and the new lifestyle that lies within. I am strong and brave and am going to face this challenge head on with my chin held high. I am so happy I found this blog site, because being able to get these feelings out to people in the same boat makes you feel not so alone. Thank you everyone for letting me gripe and moan. It has done wonders to make me feel not quite so nervous. Good luck to everyone. I will catch you on the flipside!
MandyRN15

MandyRN15

2
melissa130's Blog
 

Week 20

I have completed 19 weeks of life after a sleeve gastrectomy. I am soooo happy I had this surgery and so far - I have no regrets.   I have lost 87 pounds in 19 weeks. I truly believe that I could never have lost this amount of weight without the surgery.   Life is better. In many ways. However, my husband and I need to readjust our relationship a bit. I think after a little more time we should   work out our issues. I want my weight to get to 140 pounds. So I have about 38 pounds to go and it feels so attainable.   I know I will reach that goal. And it won't be long. My personal goal is to reach that weight by the end of summer. I have June, July,   and August. So - I will lose 12.5 pounds each month. And this fall I will be living a dream come true. 140 pounds. WOW.   I don't have too much loose skin yet. My arms are seeing the worst of it -and it really is not too bad yet. And---it is way   more awesome than having fat arms.
melissa130

melissa130

1
Momonanomo's Blog
 

surgery was 12 days ago

Well it’s been a while hasn’t it?! I believe an insanely long blog entry is in order!! I want to first say that due to you, my dear VST people, nothing that has happened has been a surprise, and that has been really, really nice   I had my sleeve surgery on Wed., May 22nd. My “call time” was 1 pm, and my surgery was scheduled for 2:45. I believe I was #3 on my surgeon’s docket for the day. My parents, my husband and I arrived and were all ushered into pre-op, where I was asked to go behind a curtain and put on a hospital gown. I was so interested in the conversation my parents and husband were having that I rushed, and when I popped out from behind the curtain, the nurse said “No honey, you’ve got it on backward”. Lol. I was wearing it like a robe. So I had to switch it. Then I climbed into bed and my family sat in front of me in chairs – felt like I had an audience. The nurse was extremely nice – she got me all covered up and warm under the blankets and this special inflatable thing that blew warm air on me. I also got the leg-squeezy things and some fab socks with nonskid rubber on the bottom.   Another nurse came by and started an IV – I asked what was in it and she said it was basically Gatorade without sugar. I’m guessing there was no color or flavor either. Then I heard some commotion and found out that my surgeon was running ahead of schedule so they’d be taking me early (!) The anesthesiologist came over. This was the first time I’d met him, and let me tell you, he was so adorable I would have gone anywhere with him! But alas, he only wanted to take me to the OR…. lol. Before we left, he put something in my IV that made me goofy – I remember looking at my family and saying “ooh that was fast” and then someone putting the shower cap type thing on my head & I had to help because I have long hair. I remember being wheeled into the OR, and once in there they had me scooch onto a different table. I think. That could well have been after – it’s one of those weird disconnected memories. Anyways, I do know that my surgeon was there and they started introducing all the support team “this is John, and you know Dr. Z, and here’s Vern “ and I was chuckling to myself like you guys really think I care at this point who’s who? I think they were chuckling too – I just remember that there was happy banter and/or joking as they went about prepping me, and it was a good feeling all around to have happy people around me.   Next thing I knew someone was calling my name, and I surfaced VERY reluctantly from a deep sleep. Once I let them know I was awake they left me alone, and I could drift in and out all I wanted. At times I had pain in my upper belly and felt a little nauseous. What’s interesting is that it is such a distant memory now it hardly seemed like anything as far as the pain goes. I was aware of another patient in the recovery room – a large man who was moaning a lot. In my drugged out mind, this made me feel the need to do some moaning of my own just so I wouldn’t be forgotten. LOL. No logic there, just instinct. Someone was apparently standing behind me monitoring my machines, because pretty soon they said it was time to go and my bed started moving. We went in the elevator and pretty soon I saw my family come into view as I was wheeled past them to my room. I felt very concerned with making sure they knew I was just fine, so I was saying hi and trying to smile. But boy I was still pretty high!   Once in my room, I began to experience some more pain. I must say it is nearly impossible to assign a number to pain. I think I’m a people pleaser, and I was like “oh it’s not so bad, a 4? Maybe?” But it was a bit worse than that. My mom said she could tell I was in pain because she could see my blood pressure going up. The nurse gave me morphine in my IV, and within a few minutes I felt no pain, but I did feel the nausea. I salivated a lot, but I breathed through it without heaving, thank goodness. In retrospect, the pain must have been gas and the nausea was from the morphine.   I drifted in and out for a few hours, then in the evening I got the nurse to disconnect me from everything but the IV, so I could walk and go to the restroom. From that time on, I honestly had no real pain. I used gas x strips every 3 hours, burped a little, didn’t toot at all I felt the tiniest bit of the gas in my neck, but even that came and went quickly. They never had to put the oxygen thing back in my nose because my oxygen levels stayed good (yay for me for quitting smoking!!!)   My hospital stay was uneventful. The tray they brought the next day was silly – I asked if there was any protein in any of it, and when I was told no, I thought why waste the time & tummy space? I ate some to prove no problems, and then was released to go so I could start working on protein My surgeon came by and said everything went really well. I have one incision in my belly button and two more "punctures" high up on my left side. These are smaller than a grain of rice and I'm sure will be undetectable once healed. I'm still completely amazed at this surgeon's skill -- to think that 85% of my stomach was removed and no one will ever be able to see a scar -- blows my mind. He said I was good to go if I wanted. Once unhooked from the IV, I admit I didn’t feel nearly as perky as I had when I was hooked up to it. But they let me walk out on my own and I did not have to do the wheel chair ride.   The next 2-3 days were all about sleeping. I tried my darndest to get fluid & protein in, but I felt pretty nauseas. Had the super-saliva production thing going on a couple of times where I thought I would start heaving, but I never did, thank goodness. My sweet husband would run to bring me a paper towel to spit the saliva into (I mean I was producing tremendous amounts of saliva when I got nauseas! sorry if TMI) and then he would rub my back and say sweet things to me while I took deep breaths and let it pass. Nausea sucks. But! By day 3 it was ALL gone. Ever since then all I can say is that the vague soreness in my tummy has gotten MUCH better every day, and the tiredness is slowly getting better. Day 4 after surgery I went on a very short trip to Target and was amazed to stop and think about the surgery I’d just had and that I was out walking around. After about 10 minutes though, I was headed to the lawn furniture department for a lil break   I have a desk job, and I took just short of 2 weeks off work – I honestly can’t imagine taking more than that with how normal I feel. Yes, I am pretty damn tired right now, but c’mon, I was tired all the time before surgery! It’s just going to get better and better.   Today is the last day of ‘full liquids’. Tomorrow I get pureed! Hooraaaaay! Been daydreaming about cottage cheese lol. The liquid diet has begun to go literally right through me. Yes I get hungry but nothing like presurgery. Once I drink a few sips off a protein drink, I am satisfied. However, within half an hour, it is coming out tha other end if you know what I mean. TMI I know, but I’m here to tell it like it is So I’m hoping that pureed foods will be just what I need to set things right in that department. I had my first poo maybe 3 or 4 days post op and it was normal, if a bit small. I was very happy not to have the severe constipation some folks have immediately post op. I know it could still happen, but at least I’ll be a little further out from surgery.   Last I checked, I had lost 20 lbs since the start of pre-op, and about 10 lbs since surgery (about a lb per day). HOWEVER – and here’s something really fun --- my husband accidentally kicked my scale into the wall in the dark and it shattered into a million pieces. I had left it out in the middle of the floor – my bad So... I haven’t weighed in days! I’ve ordered a new fancy scale on Amazon, and I think it will be kinda neat to just wait until it arrives. I know I’m losing weight. But for some reason, my immediate focus is not the weight loss, it’s just about doing what I should be doing.   I really feel like I made the right decision for me, and honestly, it has been a good experience so far. looking forward to feeling better and better and better!   ONWARD!
Momonanomo

Momonanomo

6
Rebecca's VSG Adventure
 

This friday... and the mental battle

My surgery date is this friday, and boy is the mental warfare raging. I've never been of normal size...(okay, I was from birth until age 5). So I have a very deep rooted attachment to those foods which give me positive affirmation, feel good hormones bring me pleasure via my tongue, etc. Counseling didn't help, because it's truely an addiction, and I just wonder is this really going to work for me.   I keep trying to imagine what it will be like when I wake up after surgery and the deed is done, and I have my first "mental hunger" for the "feel good" response needed from something sweet. I know there is going to be a lot of tears, a lot of shouting at my husband that I did this for him (which is only half true...I am doing it for me too), a lot of regrets and remorse. But in the end, as the weight drops, I hope to be excited about where my life/body is going.   Sadly I have not fully embraced what is about to happen to me because I'm fearful. Fearful that life without food (large quanities of unhealthy food) won't be as "sweet" as life has been with food.   But let me say that right there is a lie that my subconscious believes, because the more I eat, the worse I feel. The more my body hurts, the lazier I feel, the less I want to do the things that do bring me "feel good" hormones, that last and leave me in a better place than when I started...like the 11 mile bike ride I took this weekend. Hiking to the top of mountains (real ones..ha!) in the Smoky Mtns. Kayaking.   So, for now, I'm clinging to the hope that losing this weight will replace what is currently bringing me pleasure (but leaving me heavier and unhealthier), with something that is lasting and that will help me to live a long, healthy, and most important to me, active life. And I'm so tired of the yo-yo dieting, of the struggle to lose 10 lbs and have one weekend of "fun" and gain it all back...the endless dieting cycles. I do know I am down to 2 options...the surgery, or "let myself go" and ballooning back up to my highest (320) or higher which means giving up the activities I do enjoy. I don't have one single more "just try this diet" in me. Only radical change such as this is going to help me.   Ready or not... here comes the sleeve. I will embrace it...but first it will embrace me
rebecca_dsu

rebecca_dsu

1

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