Dealing with the changes in the way people treat you

[Mrs. Reid 392]

Hey all!

I would like to hear from people about dealing with the changes in the way people relate to you post-op. I hear that there is a lot of attention paid during the dramatic weight loss phase. I'm just starting this journey and would like to know about your experiences and what that does to your own sense of self. Thanks

[Kindle 8,667]

I have seen different clients everyday as I've lost weight. I've gotten comments and questions about my weight loss every single day for the last 6 months, at least. Most people I tell about my surgery and I get a lot of congrats and you look great and wow! reactions. Some clients I don't tell, basically because I don't like them and prefer to keep my relationship strictly professional. I just say thanks for the complement and change the subject.

All of my friends and family know about my surgery and are super happy for me. As for acquaintances or some friends I haven't seen for awhile, I've had a lot of people not recognize me and then are shocked when they realize it's me. Again, we talk briefly about my surgery and move on.

As for how people relate to me and my sense of self, I really haven't noticed any dramatic changes. I'm still me and still act the same. Everyone else still acts the same towards me. (Except a few friends that call me skinny bitch....the bitch part is normal, it's the skinny part that's new! ). So I guess really the only extra attention I've gotten has been all positive and kind of a conversation starter in some cases because so many people are interested in the whole "going to Mexico and having most of my stomach removed" thing.

[Luana526 61]

I'm curious myself! I dread answering any questions. I'm not telling anyone at work and after awhile people will undoubtedly comment on how fast it's coming off because it's going to be hard to believe that my "nutritionist" would approve of my losing weight so quickly. Maybe I'll play sick!

[geelynn 72]

I've been struggling with this issue as well. I live in a small community and have had a number of people ask me "what are you doing? You look great". It's nice to hear, but I feel like the decision was a personal one, and I don't think everyone needs to know. I know that it will probably get around, but I just don't want the watchful judgmental eyes of "what is she eating", "she should have lost more by now" etc, etc . . . .

I've noticed that my good close friends (whom I chose tell about the surgery) are positive and supportive. For all the others, I just tell them I made drastic changes in my lifestyle and thank you for the compliment.

My two cents.

[downsizingdiva 459]

This is a biggie on my mind as well...i plan 2 tell barely anyone...not ashamed...I'm just private about everything. ..period...so I have no clue how I'm going to respond to family and friends cuz i know they will flip out when I only eat small amounts...it's going to be a challenge. ...but with my clients etc...i don't know what to say when they start asking what I'm doin....how do u say none of your business in a nice way? LOL

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Well, you could tell people:

1. You have cancer (hey, your hair's gonna fall out soon, so you're covered).

2. You're on a hunger strike 'til the Bieb goes home to Canada.

3. You are having weekly liposuction treatments.

4. You're found these new miracle diet pills!

5. You're trying out meth.

6. You're the last person in America to have discovered the Atkins Diet.

7. You've had bone implants in your legs and are now six inches taller.

8. You're really your thinner twin who until recently was living in Australia.

9. You had hypnosis to lose weight rapidly.

10. You recently gave birth to triplets.

Edited September 14, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[Kindle 8,667]

I actually did use the meth answer once. And when one person asked if I had cancer (actually 3 people have asked that) I told them, yes, testicular cancer. Love that deer in the headlight look!

[BellaLuce4 261]

I've been struggling with this issue as well. I live in a small community and have had a number of people ask me "what are you doing? You look great". It's nice to hear, but I feel like the decision was a personal one, and I don't think everyone needs to know. I know that it will probably get around, but I just don't want the watchful judgmental eyes of "what is she eating", "she should have lost more by now" etc, etc . . . .

I've noticed that my good close friends (whom I chose tell about the surgery) are positive and supportive. For all the others, I just tell them I made drastic changes in my lifestyle and thank you for the compliment.

My two cents.

i like your two cent????

[back2barb78 890]

My personal choice was to be open about it and in most cases I have been happy about my decision. People do treat me very different though. I definitely have been in a bit of a struggle with this on occasion though. I can't help but be what I feel is a bit negative because inside my head I say "you wouldn't have said that a year ago" or "I would've been invisible to you a year ago." It's hard not to think that way but I know it's the truth. I don't want to be the poster child for weight loss surgery, but I also want people to know it's a great option and not to be so afraid of it. I heard many positive things preop but also negative things which I took with a grain of salt. Nobody can hold me down!! If I had it to do over again, I would still choose to share it as I have. I also wouldn't want something serious to come up with me and the people around me not know my medical history and have my sleeve damaged.

[Summer Rain 245]

I am glad your decision to be open about your surgery has mostly worked for you. Congratulations and I hope you have continued success on your journey!

Summer

[shizwiz 197]

@@VSGAnn2014 I am sitting at my desk almost crying because I am laughing so hard! I had a co-worker come in and check to see if I was OK

Totally writing down this list and trying a few when I get to that point!

10 points to Gryffindor!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@shizwiz ... thank you!

I'm taking that as a non-scale victory (NSV) -- that someone under 30 thought something I said was that funny.

[shizwiz 197]

Ohhhh NSV= Non scale Victory. I had totally been wondering what that meant!!

I had been brainstorming for a few months:

-'Nuther Small Victory

-New Stellar Victory

-No Small Victory

-New Sleeve Victory

-Not Safe for Vooork (with russian accent)

It all makes so much sense, now.

Thanks!!!!